Too often, friends and family try to help someone with anxiety and depression, by generally giving them suggestions. Us with anxiety most often come off annoyed, and we understand you are trying to help, but we're always left feeling a lot worse than we were before.
Those that do not have anxiety always think that it's just about stress. Stress and anxiety are NOT the same thing. Stress is more understandable, it's not ever thought of as "imaginary." Some think that we really don't have anxiety and that we are just looking for attention. Anxiety is stress times 1,000. People may say to calm down, take a breather, stop overthinking, loosen the workload, or go slower... it isn't that easy, to be honest.
I think the worst thing someone has ever told me is "you're stronger than that, don't let silly problems bother you." When someone tells me to stop being anxious and stop worrying about things, it makes me even more anxious.
So, to all those friends that have been trying to fix me and try telling me what to do:
I want you to know that there is a reason, or many, behind my tears, tiredness, and irritability. I am ill. If you haven't recognized it by now, depression and anxiety are illnesses. I do not need your advice, and I sure do not need you to tell me to get out of bed and do things.
To be honest, I have already tried and thought of everything you keep telling me. I do not need to hear that my unhappiness isn't "that big of a deal," because, of course, they are. Maybe not to you, but to me, these reasons I'm unhappy are a big part of my world.
Stop telling me to quit making a big deal out of everything and enjoy things. Believe me, I know. My brain knows it, my body knows it.
I feel like my ability to differentiate between things is more blurry than usual. Somedays, I just don't feel like doing anything. Some days I just want to lay in bed, sleep, watch Netflix, and not have a care in the world.
It's not that I do not want to get better, it's just that I simply can't right now.
Stop trying to fix me. The only person who can fix me is me, and I'm trying. Just give me time.
