With the New Year approaching, I don't doubt that several of you will want to alter some aspect of your personality. I'm here to tell you…maybe don't.
Here me out before you go all "self-help and self-improvement" on me. I am 100% always here for personal growth and advancement, as long as fueled by the right intentions. What I mean by that is don't change yourself to fit into any standard or mold or societal norm. And DEFINITELY, don't change anything because someone told you too.
For example, I get told I'm too petty quite often. And while most of the time, I agree. I am full blown "oh, you didn't ask me about my day so I'm not asking you about yours" and "oh you didn't wash my dish last time, so I'm not washing yours" levels of petty. But I've come to accept that as part of my character.
I mean sure I can keep my mouth shut and not act on my pettiness. I'm still going to have petty thoughts though, even if I mentally remind myself not to. It's ingrained in me. And I like to think it stems from my passion for equality and fairness. And what I won't do is remove my passion for those two things in an attempt to be less petty.
The same is true for qualities that people like to say are "too much" sometimes. If you're "too" competitive, it's okay. It just means you're ambitious and a go-getter. Don't lose that aspect of yourself in an attempt to conform to what somebody told you. If you're a habitually jealous person, it's okay. You just care a lot about people and want their attention. There's nothing wrong with that. If you becoming less jealous means you have to care less, then just find people who can understand you and accept that about you.
So, my advice to everyone who thinks they want to change something about yourself for their New Year's Resolution, maybe don't. Maybe learn to accept and even love that part of yourself. See that "bad" quality for what it's worth and see the good in it. Maybe even see the good in it and can help you realize that maybe your problem isn't that you're too jealous or competitive or petty. Maybe learning to see the good in the "bad" will help you realize that you struggle to express how you're feeling in ways that other people can interpret.
This New Year's don't be too hard on yourself. Focus on loving and accepting yourself rather than changing yourself.
