Honestly, I wasn't planning on writing about guys or relationships this week. I opened up the "create" tab on Odyssey with plans to write a political piece. But then one of my friends walked into the room and just about burst into tears telling me the newest update with the guy she'd been with: Just a few days ago, he broke things off with her, with no real explanation as to why.
While another friend and I comforted her, the three of us started on a whole rant about boys--specifically, how so many of them think they can just play girls, drop us like we're nothing, and so on. While talking to my friend about the situation with her boy, which none of us saw coming, it hit me... There are very few girls I've known who haven't been through similar things with guys.
And now I'm asking why? Why is it that society lets men treat us like we're replaceable, like we're objects, like we're nothing but their next new plaything until they get bored with us and move on to the next one? Hookup culture definitely plays a role in this problem, but why, specifically, do the guys who claim that they're looking for something more drop girls out of nowhere? Or lead us on and then bolt at the first sign of possible commitment? It's one thing to not know what you want, but if that's the case, then don't get involved with someone who does. Don't allow someone to get attached to you if you're just planning on dropping her the second you find someone better.
The way guys treat girls is so normalized, but it really shouldn't be. There shouldn't be anything normal about the way my friend is crying her eyes out over a boy who couldn't care less, all because he randomly decided he didn't want to be with her anymore (and worse, couldn't even give her a straight reason as to why). There shouldn't be anything typical about how I'm tossing and turning at night trying to figure out how a guy really feels when he claims not to know what he wants but always hits me up to "chill." Especially in college, guys are so used to treating girls like we're nothing and we're so accustomed to it that we almost don't even question it anymore. But it shouldn't be like that. It really shouldn't.
No one deserves to feel like they won't be loved. No one deserves to be left hanging. No one deserves to be led on. There's a lot of focus on the really terrible shit that men do to women (like rape, abuse, violent reactions to rejection, etc.) and of course, it's good to talk about those things. But the small stuff, like the shitty approach guys tend to have towards dating, reflects the same root problem of sexism and misogyny. Everything circles back to our patriarchal society--if it wasn't ingrained into men's brains that women are beneath them, we wouldn't have nearly as much issue with them treating us like crap, in any situation. The way I've seen guys treat girls that they're dating, in a serious relationship with, hooking up with, or even just having a "thing" with, is unacceptable. Guys need to stop treating girls like we mean nothing--and society needs to stop accepting that as the "norm." End of story. Because personally, I'm so over it. And so is every other girl.
