We all have at least one boy crazy friend. You know the one who basically recycles boys, can’t ever be alone, and is back spitting game right after she was dumped. If you have that friend, I feel your pain. Or even worse you are that friend! I’m going to talk about something that I have had to deal with my entire life being the "single" girl, the girl who could “care less” or the girl with the mind of a boy. So this article goes out to all my fellow ladies who are sick of the relationship expectations society has, and also for you the boy crazy girl because, maybe I can talk some sense into your mushy sap filled brain.
From History we can clearly see the expectations for a women were to get married and have a family, to stay home and take care of the kids. Now in the swing of the 20th century we see couples marrying later, waiting until they are educated and stable in their lives to settle down and start a family, there is also Cohabitation a new and increasingly popular alternative to marriage. I even hear the common word “the hookup culture” and “the talking stage” thrown around frequently. Its clear our society has moved toward a more realistic view on life. But still, maybe it’s the Midwest culture, but I certainly know this isn’t something that’s exclusive to the area. Boy craziness is prevalent and its sweeping the nation.
To start off I’d like to give you a little bit of my background. I from a young age was very independent, which has clearly carried into my later years. I liked to play alone, I had no problem playing by myself because I could find literally anyway possible to entertain myself. Although most people who know me know would classify me as a very outgoing person, I actually was very shy for the greater part of my life. I spoke to few people in high school, but those who knew me well enough to call me a friend knew I was “low key” very weird and outgoing. I would say that my older brother and I were similar in that sense, quiet unless we were comfortable with you. I was never really popular, and I never had a boyfriend, and I’m not ashamed to admit I didn’t kiss a boy until my Junior year of high school! I didn’t care then and I still don’t now. I was usually too busy with school, or cheerleading. My real friends were my teammates throughout high school, the only thing I can relate the bond with teammates on a sports team to is a MEN’S fraternity because of the hazing. Teammates are similar, the stuff we went through, and overcame together is what made that bond so special.
I never even had a boyfriend in high school, but I always got those pestering questions, and comments from adults “oh I bet your daddy has to chase the boys away from you” or “a pretty girl like you must have a boyfriend.” Each and every single time I responded with a hard NO. Still the comments continued “you don’t want a boyfriend?” “oh you’ll find someone soon enough.” The comments then never really had an affect on me they just actually made me feel sorry for the people I knew who had boyfriends, I thought “Is there life really that boring and empty that they feel like having a boyfriend at just 15 years old is completely necessary?” I couldn’t even drive a car legally, how could I possibly have a boyfriend? Does their mom drop them off and pick them up at their boyfriend’s house? It all honestly was weird to me, and I just really wasn’t interested.
By early junior year I was certainly in the peak of my cheerleading career, I was getting new skills fast, and seeking out potential colleges I would want to attend and cheer for. The last thing that crossed my mind was boys. I remember this situation vividly. In the car one day on the way to practice the topic of boys came up, and how my family was concerned, puzzled that I never mentioned boys, never brought any boys to meet my family or anything of that nature. My dad went on to say “Hayley, you know, its okay if you don’t like boys” I thank my dad for being so open and understanding. I just laughed and said “I’m not gay dad, I just don’t have time, and don’t really care to have a boyfriend.”
Now you’re probably siting there saying where are you going with this? Well since coming to college I have had more time and opportunity’s to be social, and date. My first relationship was my sophomore year of college, and when it ended I was devastated, not because I was alone but rather because that person became my best friend, and it was upsetting to no longer have them in my life. But since coming to college I have felt so much pressure to find a boyfriend, and I would constantly evaluate myself, thinking there must be something wrong with me, why is it that I just don’t really care? I hear so many girls talking about marriage, and the are all getting “wifed” up and it honestly makes me feel like shit! It makes me feel like I should be too, it makes me feel like I should care, that I should jump at the first boy who shows interest in me because I won't be around this many males when I graduate, and does this mean I’m going to die alone and get eaten by cats?
I know I’m not the only girl who feels like this, and my answer is no, I’ve realized that us independent girls have the upper hand, we have something that the boy crazy girls don’t, ourselves. You can say whatever you want about the single girl, she’s slutty, she can’t settle down, she’s wild, she’s bossy, she’s insecure, say whatever you want it doesn’t matter because those are just what they are, assumptions, just false assumptions. Just because I don’t have a boyfriend, or because I don’t have an entire board on Pinterest dedicated to my “future wedding” doesn’t mean I’m a slut or easy or am unwilling to commit or settle down. It means now isn’t the right time, I haven’t found someone right for me, I’m content having fun and focusing on myself. If you have a boyfriend and you’re happy that’s great for you. But, if you’re going to judge me because I don’t piss off! Because you are no better than the next girl just because you’re in a relationship. Girls shouldn’t be searching for the perfect guy, or crying because Alexis Ren is “relationship goals.” Good things come to those who wait, and you can’t search for a happy ever after, it has to come to you!
