More times than I can count, when I’ve told someone that I’m in a sorority, they say, “Really, you?” or, “Wow, I never would’ve guessed,” or, “How’d you manage that?”. Even a friend of a friend from England whom I’d just met was convinced I was lying and I was nothing like what he’d imagined sorority girls to be. My experience has told me so far that I’m what online quizzes, movies, and Total Sorority Move don’t account for in their stereotypical descriptions of tall, blonde, southern belle, Lilly-print sorority types. Now I’ll explain why everyone is surprised that I rushed a sorority, much less that I got into one and why I never thought I had a chance.

I saw “Legally Blonde” in middle school and I immediately admired it. I was a tomboy growing up – you know, the friends-with-boys, tree-climbing kind. The girls I saw on the screen were nothing like that. They were beautiful, loyal, and Elle was passionate, smart, and had tons of friends. I wasn’t preppy and girly like they were, or like all the girls I saw around me, so I felt excluded. I didn’t know how to fit in so I decided to be as opposite from them as I could.

I was also painfully shy.

So when high school came around, I was that punk/goth rebellious girl. I dyed my hair crazy colors, mostly wore black, despising the color pink. I absolutely hated pop music and spent my time going to rock concerts, breaking my school’s dress code, and wishing it was always Halloween. I looked down on anything preppy to the point that I felt bad for the girls trying to fit in with the popular crowd.

I hid behind the clothes and the music because it was easy. If someone stared at me on the train it was because my hair was bright purple, not because they were staring at ME. But this was also the point in my life that I cultivated a love of social and environmental activism. A lot of the music I listened to was about needing to save the planet, helping disaster-ridden areas, and stopping bullying and teen suicide. I was bullied a lot, no matter how I looked, so dressing like everyone else seemed pointless to me. At the end of high school I was forced to wear a uniform so expressing myself through clothing was no longer an option, but by that time I had solidified myself as the Punk girl to everyone I knew.

My freshman year of college saw a resurgence of my punky-gothic style. I was finally allowed to wear my own clothes again and by now, this style was what I was most comfortable in. Over winter break a friend of mine told me she was going through sorority recruitment. I laughed, and then she said that I should do it too. I looked in the mirror, my hair was streaked dark red and I was wearing black cargo pants. I thought “I’m not a sorority girl, they would think I was crazy for trying.” She managed to convince me to do it, even just for laughs.

It was one of the most intense experiences of my life. But the girls I met were all really eager to talk to me, I was stunned through every moment of it. It wasn’t until running through the freezing cold on bid night into the arms of all my new sisters that I realized it was for real. They wanted me to be there, punky and all. I have never felt more accepted in a room.

My family was equal parts surprised and proud that I’d done this. I was too. I had finally become a part of something I never thought I could; it was extremely liberating and it boosted my confidence too. Rushing a sorority was probably the best decision I’ve ever made. It helped me meet new people and become more involved on campus. Since I’ve joined, I’ve embraced a girlier and more preppy side of myself, a side I forgot I had. I no longer harbor a hatred for pink, or pop music, and I don’t dress as intensely as I used to. I was so unhappy when I was younger and all because of the stereotype I saw.

I owe it to the Greek community for showing me that being in a sorority is about who you are, your character, not how you look. I absolutely love being in my sorority and all that it has given me. I still like the same music I used to, and I count down the days to Halloween, but I’m very different than who I was before, brighter and happier. In fact, the cover photo of this article was me last weekend at a Blink-182 concert, a band that some of my sisters enjoy listening to also (cool, right?).

We need to continue to change this “perfect pink” sorority stereotype – it’s so much more meaningful than that. A sorority woman can be anyone. So, next time someone tells you they are in a sorority, don’t question them because they don’t match up to your ideas. They’re probably really proud to be in one and you should be happy for them too.