Stop telling me to love my body.

Stop telling me that I should love the way my ribs poke out or the way my stomach rolls when I sit or how the fat folds in that little spot by my armpits when I wear a tank top.

I shouldn't have to love my body 24/7, 365 days a year. And I don't.

Sure, I admire my body. I admire that it can breathe, work up a sweat and run for miles and do other amazing things. But I don't always love it.

I don't deny that it's important to love my body. But I don't want to love all of it. In fact I don't need to either.

I don't need to love that I choose fries over exercise and it goes straight to my hips. I don't need to love the bruises all over my legs because I bruise like a peach. I don't need to love the way clothes don't lay flat on my stomach.

My body. My perspective.

However I do need to love myself. And if my body is part of what makes me, me than I have to learn to love it. But I will love it on my own time. I will not love it because you tell me I have to. My self love is not your concern. It is not your place to tell me to love my curves and imperfections.

There are things about my body that I do love. I love the color of my eyes and the way my butt looks in my favorite jeans and I love my curly hair after I shower.

This is not an on and off switch. I can't choose to suddenly love my body.

I shouldn't have to feel guilty when I see other women love their bodies. I shouldn't have to feel guilty that I can't show off my curves and flaws with pride.

Stop telling me I'm young and life is short. Eat what you want! You're lucky your metabolism is so fast at your age. You have your whole life to get in shape.

Stop.

No matter what I do I either hate my body or myself for hating my body.

I hate that I don't have self control to eat better, exercise more, and can't spend hours looking at the mirror and embracing my problems areas.

That being said, I am all for learning how to embrace my body for all that it has to offer. It won't happen overnight. I won't suddenly love it, but i'll grow to love it.

I don't need you to tell me what to feel about my body. And I definitely don't need you to tell me that I love it.

Loving myself is an individual journey and you're not invited.

"One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl... it doesn't have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it's your home, and you must decorate it." -Gabourey Sidibe