I shouldn't have to write an article about why you should stop telling people what they can or cannot do with their bodies — even though it's 2016, apparently we still haven't learned yet.
Like thousands of other men and women of all ages, I have self-harm scars.
I've had these scars for around five years now, but still, up to this day, I get stared at if I wear a pair of shorts or a sleeveless shirt. They range from small lines to bright red keloid scars — quite hard to miss. It's not the staring that bothers me, it's the unnecessary comments I have received from family members, boyfriends, friends and even strangers on the street, telling me to cover up my scars. Whether it be the sly suggestion of getting tattoos over them or a straight to the point, "cover up your arms." My answer has and always will be the same.
No.
I will not choose to hide my scars. I understand that they aren't pleasant to look at, but they're a part of me now. I am not proud of what my depression drove me to do to myself and I am not proud of how I have handled things in the past. However, I am proud of how I have overcome everything that's been put in my path and I am still here today.
My scars are a constant and necessary reminder that I am strong enough to overcome whatever life throws at me. In a sick sort of way, they are comforting. It's comforting to me to be reminded of a time when I hit rock bottom, because it shows me how far I have come.
I hid my scars from my family and friends for years in fear of rejection. I refused to wear sleeveless shirts to school because I didn't want my friends to be ashamed of being seen with me. It took me so long to realize that there is nothing to be ashamed of. I've been told that I've ruined my skin, but I haven't.
Don't tell me to cover up my scars, because you're telling me to cover up the deepest corners of myself. I have and would never encourage anyone to self-harm, but you must understand that they're a part of my skin now.
I will not cover myself up and shame myself because you don't want to see and recognize the growing epidemic that's plaguing teens and adults today.
One in five girls and one in seven boys self-harm. Say you have 30 people in a class, around five or six of those people have self-harmed in the past or are currently still doing it. Every time you tell someone to cover up their scars, you're telling those five or six people that they should be ashamed of themselves.
We need to talk about self-harm. We need to stop the stigma that those who engage in self-harm are attention seeking. Self-harm, no matter how minor the damage is, needs to be addressed.
So instead of telling me to cover up my scars, tell me that you're here for me. Tell me you love me and that you're willing to talk to me about it. Be there for your friends and your classmates, you never know who is struggling.
