Nice: adjective: (of a person) good-natured; kind. Synonyms: pleasant, likable, agreeable, personable, charming, delightful.
When describing myself at age 6, I called myself a, "nice, smart girl who loves cats and dogs." Aside from my lack of grammar skills and oxford comma usage, I was onto something.
As I've aged, more and more fellow human beings have come to describe me as not nice, likely due to my blunt honesty and outspoken personality. I never claimed to be an agreeable person, nor do I wish to be. I state things as they are and keeping my mouth shut to make other people more comfortable is an activity I do not wish to expend energy upon.
Just as I do not judge others for their demure behavior, I do not wish to be judged for my lack thereof. If someone is offended by something I do or say, it is in no way my responsibility to right that wrong. There is a difference between being outwardly offensive (example: the Republican candidate for the US 2016 election) and being an open, honest human being (example: Chelsea Handler). Not only does my bluntness seem to resonate deeply with the sensitive and guarded, but it is often frowned upon, in a way that is ironic in its hatred all together. I've put together some points as to how this irony is toxic, and why I remain unmoved to change my behavior to suit those around me.
It is not my job to maintain comfort of other human beings.
In fact, my exact job is to maintain comfort of my very own self. I was not put on Earth to rest on people's skin and never get under to delve into what makes them tick. Nor do I wish to change my behavior to please those around me. To leave human beings to their complacency is to leave them to what makes them less than human. While others may find comfort in this behavior, the more energy I spend on filtering myself, the less energy I have to do things I enjoy doing -- such as being myself.
I am not afraid to make people uncomfortable.
You know that saying, do something every day that scares you? While you're doing that one thing, hopefully you're uncomfortable. Life begins outside of ones' comfort zone. If I push you there by being myself, your freedom allows you to exit the situation, without blaming me for existing outside of mine.
I'd rather say what I think than think of what I should've said.
I don't waste time BS-ing through life, and I believe that is the best way for me to live. I had a friend who used to call this behavior selfish. If it's selfish for me to be myself and not fool other people through lies and ingenuity, then we need to redefine what it means to love yourself and be your own number one priority.
Being constantly concerned with what other people think is not living.
I learned at a young age that not everyone can be pleased, and therefore I do not waste energy pleasing those that I do not love, or want to see pleased.
Life is not about changing who you are, it is about becoming who you are.
I have, and still am, becoming who I am. I like that person. To change it to please those I don't even hold dear to me? Well, that'd just be a damn shame.
You are the only thing in your control.
The stars, Mother Nature, goodness, evil and other people -- all these things are out of your control. I am the only thing that can control myself, and I choose to do so by withholding controls of verbally stated opinions and stating what is in my mind. If one believes everything happens for a reason, one believes that my thoughts have arose for a reason. So I will state them as I please, and luckily for anyone who dislikes them, we don't have to waste anytime tip toeing around how I really feel, and whether or not we are compatible.
If you're outspoken and yourself, be that person. Don't let anyone silence you, or hold back your ability to state what everyone else is thinking. Kindness is not ingenuity and fake half-smiles. Kindness is saying what you know needs to be said, in order to make a difference through changing what needs to be changed.
