I started with an article "Stop Telling Me to be Humble" now I'm ready to tell you why you need to stop telling me I'm too antisocial. I am a huge introvert. Growing up my mom thought I would totally be an extrovert, but no, I would much rather not talk to people. I don't like trying to hold small talk or going to parties. I don't enjoy big groups of people. I am much more like my father who avoids most everyone and has a few awesome friends.
Some of you suffer with the comments like I do.
"Why won't you come?"
"How awkward can you be?"
"Stop being so antisocial."
These would most likely be comments from extroverted friends that don't understand why the inside of you house is so much better. I try to make the effort to show up to some events or try to talk to people I know. It's just hard for me.
Friends are hard to make, conversations are hard to have, and don't get me started on trying to flirt.
What people don't understand is that "anti-socialness" is even worse when you have social anxiety. What is social anxiety? This is how I would explain it from personal experience.
It's fears piling on your shoulders. Fears of being judged, humiliated, or embarrassed. It's like all of the sudden the entire crowd is staring at you watching every step you take. It's the fear of social situations. It creeps into every part of your life. It a voice persuading you to never leave the house or go out with friends. It makes your heart speed up or your hands shake. It's a silent killer.
It's not the same for everyone and maybe it doesn't stay long. For me it spiked when I began high school. I remember it very vividly. It was my first high school service at youth group. I was a new freshman and it surely was a big service. I remember feeling shaken up like my insides where a little rattled. Throughout the service I felt shaky and ready to cry at any given moment. I was really confused as to why I was feeling this way. I was fine before service had started. Towards the end they did another worship set and I ran out crying. I had broken down and didn't understand why. My best friend had ran after me and thankfully didn't ask questions. I later began to understand I was having anxiety attacks. The sheer amount of people were making me panic.
It was a year of change, learning, and growing. While I don't have huge panic attacks like that anymore due to some changes I still have my moments. So when people ask why I'm antisocial and tell me to change it makes me quite defensive. Certain people might just be an introvert or they might have anxiety.
Next time you want your introvert friend to go to that party friday night don't tell them they're too antisocial if they refuse. It's better to give them gentle pushes. I would be way more likely to go to a party with you if you make sure I can stick by your side.
So just remember that if you keep telling me I'm being too antisocial I might just punch you in the face.
