We’ve all been there. Your friend comes barging in and flops down on her bed. “I’m so FAT!” she screams. And you just sit there stunned because she’s the tiniest thing, maybe even a size smaller than you. It’s a mystery why even the skinniest of girls think they’re huge. I’ve done it too and I’ve seen my friends do it. But please don’t ever tell me that how I feel about my weight is invalid.

Everyone just wants to be happy with themselves. In everyone’s own little worlds, they have their own struggles and their own opinions. They have all of their own problems and everyone’s problems are different. Someone’s biggest problem might be getting into school while someone else’s might be they don’t have a date to prom. While the problems are very different when compared, they shouldn’t be compared at all. They are equally important to each individual. And just like that, someone’s weight should not be compared to someone else’s or how they feel about their body should not be compared to how someone else see’s them.

For me, I’ve never been above 125. But I’ve finally gained my freshman fifteen and I weigh more than I ever have in my life and it makes me very unhappy. Lots of people wouldn’t even be able to notice the change; I’m relatively fit and not at all “fat”. But whenever I complain about wanting to lose weight or change my body, people’s first and immediate reaction is always, “no you don’t! You’re already so skinny! You’re skinner than me!” I do not care who I am skinnier than; I want to be at the weight I want to be. I don’t care if other people view my as skinny, I will always know the truth behind my weight and all that I’ve gained this year, but it won’t always be visible on the outside.

People just want to be happy with their bodies and there’s nothing wrong with that; don’t shame people for wanting to be healthier. You never really know people’s motivations. As a friend who’s been in such situations, the best thing you can do is help motivate your friends to reach their weight goal in a healthy way and support them through it. If someone ever tells you that they want to lose weight, don’t ever tell them they’re already too skinny or that they shouldn’t. It could only make them more unhappy with themselves.