Nothing sucks more than being a position that you feel you have no control over. Being stuck, being lost, being confused, especially being unsure. The feeling when you know you need to let go and leave something behind, but it keeps coming back and altering your feelings, messing with your mind and heart. It is never easy to overcome something that has left a mark on you, it is never easy to let love go, or even let new love live. Why do we romanticize the idea of brokenness, of heartbreak, and self destruction? Making a come back is hard, allowing yourself to be happy may be even harder, but it's necessary. It needs to be done.
We all know we learn the most from the tough experiences we endure, what doesn't kill us does in fact make us stronger. But self-doubt, holding on to things because you feel like you have to, that is what kills us. People you love will sometimes hurt you and it's up to you whether or not you let them to continue to do just that.
Lets also make it clear that maybe I'm not the best person to take this "advice" from. I have trouble myself with letting go of pretty much everything. I do an Oscar worthy job at putting on an act where I act like only the rarest things could ever phase me. Meanwhile, I can never keep my brain from thinking about the things that break my heart. The things that I wish I could change, the things I wish didn't change, the things I wish never happened. Words may be just words, and although I may not be the most reliable source, considering I can rarely take my own advice, please read this and keep in mind that it is possible to be unconditionally happy. It is possible to move on and it is possible to love yourself more than you love others.
Allow yourself to heal and take time to process your thoughts. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Do what you need to do to allow yourself to let go, but please, stop self destructing. You're too strong to allow someone to alter your life.