This past year has been a roller coaster. There have been so many hills and valleys that I often find myself channeling Ron Burgundy.
I've worked myself into quite a few panic attacks this year with questions I can't answer swirling through my head. Why is this happening? How am I ever going to pay off my student debt? Are we ever going to be able to buy a house or will we be forever apartment bound? Will I ever find a job that I love? When will I be at my goal weight? Is life just a never-ending cycle of laundry? Didn't I just clean my kitchen yesterday?
It reached a point where I had to just stop. Stop and breathe.
I'm a classic overthinker, and I want what I want when I want it.
I'm slowly learning that's not how life works, and that I can't go through life constantly wishing for tomorrow.
I have a strong faith. I believe in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I believe He can heal the sick, lift up the broken, and work miracles in each and every one of our lives. But when I'm in the throes of depression or bracing the uncertainty of my anxiety, I put these "faith blinders" on. I can't see the good in my life, I can't see the smaller things He's doing for me and I just can't find my way out of the dark.
When I feel those faith blinders start to appear, I know I need to take a step back and look at my life.
So what if we don't own a home, we have a roof over our heads, with two bedrooms, a dishwasher, washer, and dryer with plenty of space for my husband, myself, and our two cats.
Our account balance isn't a negative number. We have money for our bills, gas, groceries, and rent. And what we do have left over, we save.
Both my husband and I are healthy. We may get the occasional cold or bug but we are blessed with good health.
I am loved. Throughout my ups and downs, my husband remains by my side, always cheering me on. We have an amazing network of family and friends who support and love us for who we are, not for what we have in our bank account or what job we hold.
I'm working on myself. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, I am constantly working towards a better me. Not because I don't like myself or feel I'm not good enough, but because there is always room for improvement. Life is a constant state of growing.
Time flies. It's an expression I've always heard, but one I didn't really grasp until we got married. In a little over a month my husband and I will have been married for two years. My niece, who I swear was just born a month ago, turned three this past March. And this year marks six years since graduating high school. No matter what's happening, life doesn't stop.
I can get so worked up over small battles in my life wishing I could just get through this trial or that tribulation and move on to better times that I find myself missing what's happening in the here and now.
Life is too short to wish for tomorrow, and I'm writing this piece to remind myself and others to stop, take a step back, breathe and enjoy this roller coaster we call life.