Stop stressing: many people hear this multiple times a day. As a person who does hear this very often I’m asking everyone to stop telling me to stop stressing. When I begin to stress about a project, event, or even person it's not something I can control. I am the definition of a Type A personality, which is even worse because I tend to worry and overly mother my friends, family, and random new people I meet, and I’m only 19. For those of you who don’t know what a Type A personality is, here you go. A person who is Type A will most likely be competitive, outgoing, aggressive, impatient, and ambitious; these characteristics lead to a person who will have stress in their life from many events whether big or small because of how they commit to what they are doing.
Please don’t tell me to stop stressing; in most cases that only makes the situation worse because I can’t actually stop stressing. The stress this person is exhibiting can’t be completely ignored; it is not for attention or to pawn off their responsibilities on others. In my case it comes from my fear of making the wrong decision or something not being perfect. I constantly plan things so that they can be perfect and then when it is time for the actual event I worry and stress about all of the possible failures I could have forgotten. In the actual event I want everything to go as scheduled by the minute by minute itinerary that will explain what and how to do it. Heaven forbid something does occur whether it is catastrophic or a minor issue. The chance that something could happen is always there, but when it does occur I can’t automatically jump in to fix the problem or it creates more stress. Instead, I need to step away from the issue for the smallest amount of time to contemplate how to fix it for the best not just the time being. Please allow me to step back and think; don’t just run up and expect an answer on how to solve the problem. Allow me to have my 30 seconds of time, to figure out the best solution, so more stress isn’t created later.
Mothering is yet another thing to never tell me not to stress about; as a college student I have many friends who make me worry on a constant basis whether they are okay or not based on their extracurricular activities. The other things I said about stress are important, but this is the one that is the most important to me. Let me worry about you and make sure you are safe. Let me call you when you are walking home and talk, instead of walking home in the dark with no one. Allow me to check on you when you have had too much to drink. When I don’t have to worry about you as much because I am helping you I have less stress. I am a hard-core mothering girl; I text my friends where they are constantly on the weekends to make sure they are okay, because the thought that something could happen when I’m not prepared eats away at me. For many people this is the case, so if you get a text from someone asking how you are doing a simple response will suffice. The stress you just relieved them of, however, is immense.
Please stop telling me not to stress; it is not something I do on purpose. My personality is one where the more I participate the better I feel until I hit my limit. Yet, toeing the line on the limit of what I can schedule is something my Type A personality loves. I can’t stand not being busy and I don’t know how I could handle having an open schedule. I’m passionate about my sport, clubs, and schoolwork, but I pile on more than I can do quite often, which means the stress slowly keeps adding up until it pops and I usually have a breakdown. I’m not ashamed of these, because they happen; everyone has them and that should mean it is okay to break down every once in a while. So next time a friend is getting stressed over something that seems so little, don’t act like it's nothing and definitely don’t say stop stressing. Allow me to handle the stress the best way I know how so that I may become the diamond among the charcoal.
