Before continuing to read this article, place yourself in this scenario: you have just discovered that your platonic male friend has had a threesome with two attractive females, while outdoors. Imagine your reaction to this news: is it positive or negative? Are you congratulating or shaming? Indifferent, or infuriated? Now, place yourself in that scenario again, except this time, it’s a platonic female friend of yours, having a threesome with two attractive males while outdoors. Be completely honest with yourself: is your reaction to your male/female friend the same? In this imaginary scenario, if you congratulated your male friend, are you congratulating your female friend also? If you would react indifferently to your male friend doing this, would you react indifferently to your female friend as well? Frankly, all of those questions I asked are rhetorical, because society has already given me your answers.
For much of human history, males have remained politically, economically, and socially dominant over their female counterparts. These inequities are perpetuated in many different ways. Males are allowed to express their sexuality and possess sexual freedom, whereas females are not granted these same privileges.
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Recently, a young woman in Calgary was unknowingly videotaped while having an outdoor threesome with two other male friends. The video was posted to the internet (without consent of any of the three young people) and it quickly went viral, sparking controversy and a lot of name calling. Unsurprisingly, all of the controversy, slut-shaming, and criticism has been completely centered on the female. The two males have not received any criticism or negative backlash, and remain unidentified. When looking at the comments posted on the video, it seems as if the guys don’t even exist. Meanwhile, the fact that someone can Google search “Alexis Frulling” and see her recent outdoor “sexcapades,” and the numerous disrespectful slut-shaming comments that go with it, serves as a perfect example of these gender inequities that are often perpetuated when woman strive for sexual freedom.
Granted, having sex outdoors where people could possibly see you may not be a smart, responsible decision, regardless of gender. Unfortunately, though, in instances like these, it is always women who receive blame and criticism, while men are either secretly praised for their “sexual conquest,” or ignored, never receiving the negative backlash that women are subject to. This is exactly what happens here, and unfortunately in this instance, and many others, women are the main "slut-shamers." Whether they realize it or not, women who shame others for expressing their sexuality or sexual freedom are helping men perpetuate the gender inequities that exist.
Fortunately, out of this ugly situation, something beautiful occurred. Instead of letting the name callers and slut-shamers embarrass her, she completely owned up to her actions and stood up for what she believes is right. Alexis made a YouTube video titled “The Trampede” in which she admits that she probably should have been more discreet with her “sexcapade," but she goes on to explain that she doesn’t regret her decision because she enjoyed it, and she refuses to be ashamed for indulging in her sexuality, something that men do without repercussion all the time.
So let’s take it back to the scenario that I asked you to imagine. To those that are honest and would admit to reacting differently based on your friend's gender, would you be willing to give women a chance to experience the same sexual freedom and privilege that we do to men?
