I have always been the "short" girl. But, that's okay. You see, being short isn't that bad until you start hearing every joke in the book. I am currently 4'11 and I have heard every short joke or saying the world has to offer. So, if you say these things to me, be prepared to be roasted and then you can watch my short-self walk right pass you.

Take notes, do NOT say these things.

1. How's the weather down there?

Well you see, the weather is exactlythe same as it is up there with you. Imagine that.

2. Are you a legal midget?

Please, go to google and type in "What is the height to be considered a legal midget?" and I promise, you won't find anything. But what you will find is that there is a medical condition called Dwarfism and people suffer from this every day. So, way to go asshole.

3. Oh, sorry I didn't see you there.

Ha ha ha. Maybe you should go to the eye doctor to get some glasses if you seriously can't see a human right in front of you.

4. Can you even see over the steering wheel?

Well, I obviously have my license and can drive. So yes, I can see over the steering wheel thanks to my adjustable steering wheel and seats. Thanks for asking.

5. You're not short, you're FUNSIZED.

Please never ever use any sentence with the word fun-sized in it. Let's keep that saying on the T-shirts you buy at beach shops.

6. Can you fit into kids clothes and shoes?

Actually, I can. Sucks for you because kids clothes are cheaper.

7. You are the perfect arm rest.

Excuse me, please remove your arm from the top of my head.

8. Your feet seriously don't touch the ground?

Why ask me that when you can clearly look at my feet. I am fully aware they do not touch the ground in some instances.

9. [Skeptical look] … You know the legal age right? May I see your ID, please?

It's fine, here ya go. I already had it ready for you.

10. You have to sit in the middle.

Um... thanks for asking where I would like to sit.

11. Are your parents short?

If you are wondering if it runs in my family, it's none of your business.

I was born short, and I will use that trait to my advantage. So, unless you want to catch some sass, keep your mouth shut.

#Embracetheshortness