Over the years, the term "daddy issues" has been tossed around more and more. It started out innocent enough, as a way to describe a female who has a poor relationship with her father, but often with a condescending tone. Often these girls were a little scandalous, perhaps flirtatious. However, as time went on it became more and more an insult. It has been used to degrade any woman who doesn't quite fit the "lady" stereotype to a T. Any girl who is free or loose with her sexuality runs the risk of being labeled as someone who has "daddy issues." Whether you're a stripper, a call girl, a flirt, or just have been known to hang around men more than women, you have been subject to this term. On top of that, if you show even the slightest amount of emotion, men tend to blame it on you not having a man in your life to "keep you stable." You know, because women are obviously loose wires, and we need men to be our protective coating. Without men we are just M&Ms without their candy covers, melting haphazardly (read: intense sarcasm).
It has also become somewhat of a fetish nowadays. Some men seek women with daddy issues because they believe that they are "loose." Others believe that since these women are "emotionally damaged" by their father that they will take abuse or cheating with a grain of salt. They believe that since these women have grown up without a biological father figure, they are desperate for a male to step up and take control. They view these women as weak, and susceptible to anyone with a firm personality. Both porn and movies love to use this term liberally, no doubt normalizing it, and trying to make it sound sexier than insulting (but news flash, it's not!).
As someone who has a strained relationship with her father, I resent the term "daddy issues." My familial problems are not a fetish. I refuse to allow anyone to treat me like trash. My choices and my lifestyle are just that, mine. They are not a result of my background. If I wanted to change who I was today, I easily could. Do I carry some emotional scarring? Of course, anyone could say the same about a variety of childhoods. If someone is attacked by a dog as a child, do you play off their personality by saying they have "doggy issues?" Of course not, so why do you do it to us?
We women are not your playthings, and we most certainly not to be labeled like a shelf. Perhaps you should look deep inside your own life before you judge ours, you might find that it is not as squeaky clean as you once imagined.
