Let's Stop Romanticizing The Idea Of Broken People Trying To Fix One Another
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Let's Stop Romanticizing The Idea Of Broken People Trying To Fix One Another

Those who suffer from mental illness need to seek help for themselves before they can be expected to help someone else.

220
Let's Stop Romanticizing The Idea Of Broken People Trying To Fix One Another
eHarmony

Historically speaking, the mentally ill have been exposed to discrimination, mistreatment and even abuse by our larger society, and this we know due to patient records taken from old insane asylums, letters, bibliographies and even artifacts discovered to have been used for the purpose of torture. In recent years, however, our society has grown more accustomed to the idea of mental illness.

Institutions, such as places of education, have begun to establish safe spaces for those who suffer from mental illness to seek out treatment, gain clarity and even to communicate with others with these same issues. The fact of the matter is that our society is beginning to grow much more conscious surrounding the issue of mental illness.

As our society makes this shift, however, a dangerous new trend has emerged with it. As mental illness is becoming more and more acknowledged by the larger society, a kind of romance has also followed it. People are beginning to engage in the dangerous notion of "self-diagnosing," concluding themselves to have a form of mental illness without consulting a doctor.

Self-diagnosing, however, is just one sub-trend that has followed the overall trend of romanticizing mental illness. Along with self-diagnosing, those with mental illnesses (or those who assume that they have them) have begun to intentionally seek out partners who are in the same boat.

This "trend" is no secret because it is represented throughout various forms of pop culture- in music, in movies, in TV shows and so on. The concept is, essentially, that two "broken" people can solve all of their issues by fixing one another.

Why is this an issue? Well, first of all, it interferes with the concept that every human being is a whole person in and of themselves. It's essentially denying the ability of those who suffer from mental illness to regain their independence through medical treatment and various coping mechanisms.

Instead of our society encouraging those with mental illness to seek out this help, we encourage them to find someone as "broken" or damaged as they are to help them stitch up their wounds. This is a band-aid solution to a larger problem, and it just doesn't work.

It's not just the concept that doesn't work, however. It's that the idea of two broken people finding each other and fixing each other's problems isn't practical. Let's put it this way: If one person is suffering and can't even find help for themselves, how in the world are they to be expected to help someone else? When you add in marriage and children to the mix, the issue gets even more complicated, especially when and if a romantic relationship is directly interfering with the lives of little people who depend on the survival of that relationship.

Why does our society collectively believe that it is appropriate for two broken people to fix each other? Well, maybe it's because our society hasn't developed its own collective coping skills. After all, mental illness isn't just an individual phenomenon — it's a social one.

Maybe when we discover these coping mechanisms for ourselves, we can slowly begin to engage in a larger paradigm shift in society that supports the development of romantic relationships between whole and healthy individuals seeking to nurture one another in order to support relationships that may flourish.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70800
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132415
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments