Disappointments are difficult; everyone knows that from firsthand experience. Yet, have you ever wondered why disappointments suck so bad? When we put all of our hopes and dreams into another human being acting a certain way, and then that person does not even come close to meeting our expectations, then we really feel the weight of disappointment. While it is perfectly okay to have these feelings, it is important to keep in mind that relying on other people to make us happy is not healthy.
Sure, great joy can be created through the cultivation of friendships and relationships with other people; human beings are social creatures after all. However, a potential problem arises when we allow ourselves to become too caught up in the way other people behave and the choices they carry out. By becoming dependent on the actions of other people to ensure true happiness in ourselves, we are giving up the power to make our lives enjoyable all on our own.
Moreover, we are losing the ability to make meaning in life through our own value preferences, personal experiences, and independent thought processes when we place the burden of instilling our own happiness through other people. Wouldn't you rather rely solely on yourself to feel good about yourself instead of hoping another person will make you feel good?
It is nobody else's primary concern to be sure that you are feeling happy. While friends, family members, and significant others do play an important role in our lives that hopefully do instill positive feelings, it is ultimately not their sole purpose to always be around to conjure our happiness. What happens when one of these people is no longer a part of our life? If the dependence on this other person is so immense that when they are no longer around, you find yourself in a state of complete despair, then you need to rearrange your priorities.
It is fine to enjoy another's company, yet be careful so you do not find yourself in a toxic environment depending on another person to give you pleasant feelings and self-worth. You have the ability to make yourself happy; never rely on somebody else to do this job for you because then you are placing yourself in the position to possibly face heartache, disappointment, rejection, and other negative feelings. Why waste your time and energy enduring the risk of such negativity when you can simply release any of these expectations for other people and hold yourself to higher standards instead?
Every single person is perfectly capable of feeling content in their own life, no matter what the situation is. This is not always easy, but it is so much more worthwhile to validate your feelings of positivity on your own rather than expecting others to get you to a certain place emotionally. Always remember that you will probably be better off if you stop placing the burden of personal happiness on other people and instead make your personal happiness a top priority in your life because, in the end, you are the one person who knows yourself the best.
