The first time someone said "relationship goals" in reference to me and my boyfriend, I freaked out. I was like, "Yes, this is it. I made it. I am a winner of relationships!" I seriously thought #relationshipgoals was one of the highest compliments that you can receive as a couple, and in a way it totally is. But it shouldn't be.

I am a chronic comparer. I compare myself to people who work harder, who in my opinion look better, who can cook real food. You get the picture. But I nipped that habit in the bud when it came to my relationships, and this why.

We know that people are different. Everyone has a different style and personality; that is what makes them unique. When you and another person are together then you will form this really unique relationship that you can't find anywhere else. While some relationships may be like yours, there is no exact, cookie-cutter version of what your relationship is. This is why #relationshipgoals shouldn't be a thing.

Now, I am not saying that you should not set goals in your relationship. Goals are really important, especially in order to move forward. What I am saying is, don't base your relationship goals on something that another couple has achieved and would cause y'all to be something other than yourselves. Because comparisons will do your relationship nothing but harm.

By not comparing the relationship that you and your partner created, you will be a lot happier. Not only will you not have to worry about whether or not y'all look good, or if you are doing something the right way, but you will be yourselves. So maybe you and your partner aren't rich and can't do fancy things or travel. So what? You should rock the aesthetic that you have because it is your own. Don't worry about whether or not you are taking a couple photo the right way or going on the Snapchat story-worthy date. You should do what makes you happy.

Because in the end, your relationship is your product. You don't have to travel the world or have an Instagram just for your relationship. You can do whatever you want to, whether that is turning your room into a giant blanket fort or going on an adventure into the city.

Living out your relationship to its fullest potential and creating exciting plans that you both will love should be your #relationshipgoals, not some high-trending couple that you saw on Instagram. Because while they may look really good, by comparing and possibly shaping yourself and your partner to them you aren't really being who you and your partner were meant to be. Don't worry yourself over what you could be in a relationship as #relationshipgoals suggests. Just keep your mind on what is.