Stop Putting Others Before Yourself | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Stop Putting Others Before Yourself

Before you think “how can I help them” ask “how can I help me?”

1596
Stop Putting Others Before Yourself

We all know that one person who doesn’t really seem to care for their own needs. They put their family and friends before them and get taken advantage of, only to just smile and not really care, even when damaging their own mental health for others. It’s very clear that this is damaging, and you need to talk to that one friend you have, or take a step back and start to think; Are you this friend? Or are you the one who always takes advantage of this friend’s kindness. If you answered yes to the first question, you need to take a moment to breathe. If you answered yes to the second question, you’re honestly kind of a butt. Why would you use someone who’s nice, you monster?

I have a friend who is letting a friend stay with her and use her to the full advantage. It isn’t my place to say anything to either of them, but man do I want to! This person drops everything and puts their own emotional state—which is often shaky—at risk for this other person. They’re way too nice and are putting themselves at danger by not taking care of themselves first.

If you’re the kind of person who does this, stop. You need to shut yourself off from others and do what you need for yourself. Did you shower today, or did you spend an hour on the phone helping your friend out? I understand that people who get used feel the compulsive need to help others in a way to avoid dealing with their own demons, but it’s making their own demons worse and piling on the demons of others as well.

Start small and step by step with helping yourself. Think of what you need to do today. Mary next door needs you much less than you need you, I promise. Take a moment to do something that puts you in a good mood. Listen to your favorite song or pet your dog. Make sure you try to keep yourself in a decent mood, because if your mood drops, there’s not much to help. Take a long hot shower and then begin with your responsibilities for the day. Make sure to keep your stress levels at a minimum and if someone asks a favor say “no, I need to take care of myself first.”

Your own mental state should come before anyone else’s. It doesn’t matter if they are your best friend or even your spouse. If you fail to take care of yourself properly, how can you honestly expect to help others? Don’t cut people out completely, but remember that you need to be number one.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

313
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 14 Stages Of The Last Week Of Class

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

351
black marker on notebook

December... it's full of finals, due dates, Mariah Carey, and the holidays. It's the worst time of the year, but the best because after finals, you get to not think about classes for a month and catch up on all the sleep you lost throughout the semester. But what's worse than finals week is the last week of classes, when all the due dates you've put off can no longer be put off anymore.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1006
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

2279
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments