It was nothing different than what I usually see every single morning in the mirror: a pair of sleepy eyes, tousled strands of hair sitting up on the crown of my head, and chapped lips from the cold wind. However, when I looked into the mirror at the person staring back at me, I kept picking apart at the image that I saw: A girl with thick, coarse hair that hasn’t been trimmed in months, teeth stained by coffee’s bitter taste, legs that are by no means long, lean, and like that of any couture house runway model, and ribs that stick out amongst the untoned curves that seamlessly exaggerate my hips. I could list one hundred more things about myself and slowly pull away the strings, one by one, from my own self-confidence until I am left with a tangled up nest of lies—complete, preposterous lies that do no benefit to my own soul.

I picked myself apart almost every time I looked at what I saw. But that has come to a stop. I am more than what I see in the reflection. I am more than words. I am more than the negative thoughts that loom inside of my head because of what society believes I should look like.

What I’ve come to realize is that, although we may see all of these imperfections with ourselves and consistently shame our own bodies, the truth of the matter is that people do not see the things that we see in ourselves.

I’ve also realized that I will always want what I don’t have. In fact, we all want what we can’t have. It’s a commonality that we have as a human being to always lust over what we don’t possess. Jealousy clouds our self-image and blinds us from seeing the beauty that we have in our own features. Take a minute of your time to look at your face in the mirror and find three distinctive features. Beauty is not what is externally seen but is how someone carries what is both external and internal.

A great friend of mine, Kaiti Norton, wrote these wise words about body image in her personal blog, “A Sip of My Coffee,” that relate wholeheartedly to my views on individual empowerment and confidence: “Since when is a thinner body or a fatter body indicative of what kind of person is on the inside? Haven’t we been taught since elementary school not to judge a book by its cover? And why does popular culture still insist on prescribing what is desirable or attractive”. These wise words remind us that our bodies are not indicative of personality, nor do they define the person that we want to become.

Stop picking yourself apart and start putting yourself back together. If there is anything that you take away, remember these three things.

1. We are all unique and there is not another human on the planet like us. Soak up the fact that you are the only one who is you!

2. Find true beauty in your soul. Appreciate yourself for who you are. Beauty is found in the way you carry yourself, how you handle other people, and your true character in difficult situations.

3. You are beautiful, I promise.