It’s not true when people complain that anxiety is caused by technology. Or that ADHD is our phones’ way of telling us to pay attention to it. Or that social anxiety is caused by the inexperience in face-to-face communication, only electronic. Or maybe all of that is true. I don’t know. But I do know that it invalidates thousands of people’s mental health disorders when we blame our phones.

If it was as simple as being glued to our phones, don’t you think we would have done something by now? It’s in the same vein as victim blaming, asking someone why they didn’t call for help when they were in trouble. It’s never that easy.

It’s the hardest thing in the world, dealing with any mental health problem. And it sure doesn’t make it any better when there are people who don’t understand — can’t understand — and try to blame it all on technology.

Let me tell you, there are one hundred factors to mental health problems and if feeling better were as simple as putting my phone down, sign me up for a pager and take a hammer to my phone.

Because it’s not that easy. When it’s difficult to even get through the day. Like crawling up a hill but the hill is full of mud and you’re covered in something sticky, like honey, and you’re trying to pull yourself away from the mud while the honey is still squelching you into place. That’s what it’s like to pull out of the spiral of anxiety. But sure, if you want to feel better about not helping us, not hearing us? Tell us our phones are the problem.