Like most typical millennials, I’m entirely too familiar with my social media feeds. I relentlessly check them several times a day (the understatement of the year, folks), whether out of habit, boredom, or because an annoying notification popped up on my iPhone about a comment that I probably won’t reply to and I just want the damn notification to go away.

I’ve done my best to like and follow a variety of pages and websites, and I love when my friends share links to sites I don’t frequent as often. I almost always get a kick out of reading the tons listicles that get passed around Facebook, especially ones in which I’ll find no intelligent information whatsoever. Think, “15 ways you know you’re from California,” “20 ways to wear this cool scarf,” “900 doughnuts you need to eat before you die.” That’s the good stuff. You know, the stuff you can read for hours instead of studying for that super important theory midterm that you’re totally not going to pass. Ah, memories.

However, as the stigma surrounding mental illness finally begins to dissolve, I’ve noticed a lot of links being shared with titles like, “5 things your friend with depression needs you to know,” or “10 things to say to your friend during an anxiety attack,” and in all honesty I wish they’d go away.

My reasoning for this is the very reasoning why the reader of this article may completely disagree with my opinion, and it’s something I think more people need to understand: mental illness is different for every person, and those differences could drastically alter how your friend with [insert mental illness here] would like you to act.

I’m going to keep this short and sweet: mental illness is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. So if you’re going to read articles that give you a checklist of phrases to say when your friend reveals they’re going through something, that definitely shows you care about them, so that’s great!

But...instead of taking life advice from an impersonal listicle, instead, just ask your friend how they’d like you to act or what they’d like you to say, if anything at all. And most importantly, remember that they’re your friend, and just because their brain works a little differently than yours does, doesn’t mean you need to treat them any differently. And if all else fails, just take them out for doughnuts. I have a few hundred I could recommend.