Please stop using that family excuse. I know it is very convenient and can make someone soft, like myself, fall into the trap.The trap of making a family member feel guilty for not obeying your rules or giving you what you want when often times you do not need or don't deserve. From now on and going further, no more using the family excuse. If you don't know what the family excuse can sound like let me tell you. It is when your family usually says something like this, “…but we are family,” “I am your mother!,” or “Thats what family is for.” Depending on what region of the world you live, it may be phrased differently, but you get my gist. My dad loves to reiterate that he is my father, as if I need a reminder. He uses this excuse frequently to justify why I should or should not do something for him. I do not have any money or anything valuable to give, so there is only so much I can do for him.

I love my family and would most likely would do anything for them. I just get sick and tired of them throwing their familial relation in my face to get what they want. Since I do not live near the majority of my family, I do not get to see them often. This is a blessing and a curse. I, seldomly, miss out on family functions and events such as birthdays and graduations. Yet, I find myself more independent meaning I do not have the influence of my family to deal with. Also, I am free of any family drama. I do not like the mess or the drama. Even though it, family drama or an upcoming family event, always seems to be nothing but a phone call away. Both sides of my family are pretty close knit, especially my dad’s side. My mom’s side is close but it just seems a little bit different than my dad’s side. My dad’s side seems to see each other weekly but in my mind, daily. It is like they know each other too well (i.e heart rate, fico score, yearly salary earnings). This is a bad thing because it means when you mess up, the word travels quick and everyone has an opinion. It does not matter if it does not affect them, your problems seems to quickly become their own problems. We are family. Is that not what family is for? To help you out in your time of need and be there when you need them the most. Yet, somedays it is a reason to know your business.

On a different note for using the family excuse outside of when it comes to needing help, what about when your older cousin needs to hear the English language in a different tone to get your message. I think we can all agree that some people need to hear things in a different tone and language, often foul and explicit, to get your gist. Does that family excuse apply to this? I know my dad and mother would be shocked and pissed if I said what I REALLY wanted to say to them, when I want to say it. You are definitely going to hell if you talk to your grandma in such a disrespectful manner. Yet, my grandma, both of them, can definitely say things that should not be said meaning rude, disrespectful, or mean. I can never say anything back because that is my grandma; She is family. You don't talk to family any kind of way. Even though I can definitely think of a cousin or two, who would be next in line to hear some words.

That family excuse is very broad in terms of when it applies and how to use it. We, as a society, take advantage of it. We put a lot emphasis or blood relation and forget that at the end of the day we are still very human. Blood is thicker than water but I did not pick this blood. One of my strongest beliefs is that family can be your biggest enemy. Not all “family” is created equal. We use the word so interchangeably, referring to adopted cousins (Black people you know who you are.) and even adopted (legal) family. As stated earlier, I love my family. I never want to be dependent on my family and the word family. I believe that if I needed something that my uncle or grandma would come to my rescue but what does that do for me. I am young. I am trying to find some independence in these next couple of years, financial and socially. Surprisingly, many people do not have the support of family behind them. My grandma always told me I was blessed.