In the last couple months, things in my life have drastically changed. While spending time with my family on the West Coast in Southern Oregon, I seem to have “found myself” once again and this is what I’ve learned.
In my last article I wrote about why it’s important to find your passions and pursue what sparks you. This article is going to go a little bit deeper and talk more on how to go about that and why it seems so hard to accomplish.
We live in a fear based society.
Now, most of us can admit to daydreaming of the future; Dreaming about owning a beautiful car that doesn’t break down every five minutes, not living paycheck to paycheck, being able to afford chocolate and wine when you’re having the case of the Monday’s, going out to eat with your friends without worrying if you’ll have enough money in your account to tip the waitress how they deserve, being able to tell your mom you’re financially stable, etc.
What if I told you that you CAN have all those things, but the only thing holding you back is yourself? You see, we have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind.
The conscious mind, is your awareness in the present moment. It’s aware of what’s on the outside, and a few mental notes as well. It’s aware that you have two baskets of laundry that needs washed, that you haven’t gotten dressed for the day, and you have a pile of homework waiting for you on the desk. *eyeroll*
The subconscious mind however, is like a huge memory bank of everything that has ever happened to you. It simply carries all of your memories for you, and when you wish to think of them, it retrieves them! Your subconscious mind doesn’t think or reason on it’s own. It just obeys what the conscious mind throws its direction.
So if you grow up and your parents tell you there’s a small fairy that pays you for pulling out a tooth, you believe it. If you grow up seeing people love one another no matter their differences, that’s what you believe is normal. If you grow up in broken families or relationships filled with alcohol and abuse, you think that’s what a normal relationship consists of. It can be positive, and it can be negative. Your conscious mind commands and your subconscious mind obeys.
Need another example?
Conscious Mind: I really want to run a public relations team that’s a part of a major corporation, because that fires up my soul.
Subconscious Mind: That will never happen, women never make it into the business world and you’re just not cut out for it. And let’s be real, most business women aren’t curvy.
Future: Settles for a job that pays the bills and makes the family happy, but not the soul.
“You are perfect. To think anything less is as pointless as a river thinking that it’s got too many curves or that it moves too slowly or that it’s rapids are too rapid. Says who? You’re on a journey with no defined beginning, middle, or end. There are no twists and turns. There is just being. And your job is to be as you as you can be. Do not deny the world it’s one and only chance to bask in your brilliance.” – Jen Sincero
Open your Pinterest boards. Look at what you have pinned, and ask yourself, “What could I do to make this a reality?” If you’re in college, are you majoring in something you are truly passionate about? Is this how you’re going to change the world? Does it light your soul on fire? Does it make you want to blab on and on and on?
As human beings we’re so quick to judge on others. Someone says, “Man I’d love to be on Broadway someday. That would be a dream.” And our response is typically, “Yeah, the chances of that happening are slim to none, and god you’d be so poor living in New York! How terrible.”
STOP. RIGHT THERE. Oh you want to perform in New York? Do it. You want to become an amazing lawyer? Do it. You want to own the most adorable bakery downtown? Do it. You want to be a teacher? Do it. You want to work at Children’s Mercy? Do it. You want to be a journalist? Do it. You want to be a professional ballerina? Do it. I don’t care what you have to do to pursue that, just do it. Are you really going to sit down because someone is lame and doesn’t understand your dream and what lights up your eyes? Hell no!
"But what if..." *insert thousands of things that could possibly go wrong here*
BUT WHAT IF YOU SUCCEED? What happens then? A lifetime of joy and a happy soul? Sign me up for that.
When someone puts down our aspirations, the first thing we do is try to find some sort of compromise. “Well if we do this that’s kiiiinda similar but with steady money I guess.” We look and search for something that pleases those we look up too, yet makes our eyes light up similar to the way our true passions do.
Realistically, we all can agree that it might not be a piece of cake. You might have to work split shifts, 2-3 jobs to pay bills, be in school forever, drown in student loans, live in a crappy apartment for a while, live on ramen noodles, etc. But if that brings you closer to your dream, it’s worth it.
I also know that it can be really hard to pursue what you want if you’re afraid to let down your family. However, do you think your family wants you to settle for less than you have the potential to be? Certainly not. And if they do, well, they truly don’t have your best interest at heart.
“Having others smear their fear and worry all over you is the last thing you need when you’re strengthening your super hero muscles to step out and take some risks. So I highly recommend keeping your mouth shut around people who will bring you down. Instead, seek out those who are already totally kicking butt or people you know will be supportive and confide in them. Because you’ll have your own eternal freak show to deal with as you try to overcome the objections from your own BS.” –Jen Sincero
America, we have to stop being afraid of tomorrow and tackle today. We have to stop dogging on people. We have to stop telling them they’re not good enough for pursuing their dreams. We have to stop making people believe that they are not capable of doing what their hearts truly want. We’re so quick to throw our passions in the closet in fear of what others might think, instead of celebrating who we are. It’s just as easy to believe we’re rockstars as it is to think we can’t do a damn thing right. Start taking risks, and start living your life.
So what’s stopping you?
