We all know that “skinny” doesn’t always mean “healthy,” because sometimes thinner people can down a burrito the size of a human head with chips on the side, and still look like a model because of their genetics. Some people, no matter their body type, don't eat enough at all. Eating disorders need to be confronted because they start as short-term solutions (whether it be for weight loss, anxiety control or coping with depression) that eventually lead to long-term and life-threatening health problems. That said, you should show concern over friends who don’t eat enough and friends who eat way too much junk food and friends who exercise compulsively after every meal, but stop criticizing healthy people.
I understand throwing shade at that one friend who packs her own salad, dressing and silverware to a restaurant that serves perfectly healthy meals and alternative options. This type of behavior is incredibly rude and should be addressed. A restaurant is a business, and you shouldn’t bring your own meal into a restaurant the same way you wouldn't bring your own laptop into a movie theater just because you know you won’t like any of the showing options. If you have an allergy, that’s a different story, and one that your waiter will be relieved to hear before you order your meal. Julie Wakefield, president of JW Etiquette, said her interview with Yahoo Food, “Most restaurants are willing to prepare special plates for people who have special dietary considerations, especially if they know in advance of your arrival. Try to call the restaurant the day before your event or as early as possible to discuss your dietary needs.” But don’t throw shade at the friend who orders a salad because she wants to eat a salad.
There is definitely a certain level of discomfort when your friend orders a healthy meal while you sit across the table eating a personal pizza, but it’s not your friend’s fault as much as it is yours for ordering a personal pizza in the first place. I know it may seem like Friend is judging you or proving superior self-control, but that’s not always the case. Maybe Friend has been feeling bad lately and is trying to get back on track; you need to respect her decision to eat healthy just like she needs to respect your decision to order a personal pizza, because you haven’t had pizza in a month and this place has a five-star rating on Yelp.
On the other hand, if Friend is clearly judging your decision to order pizza and won’t stop talking about what she ate this week and how she’s really seen an improvement in her butt shape ever since starting yoga, you may need to start avoiding her. Continuous talk about exercise and healthy eating is almost as tiring as continuous talk about boys. Judgement at the dinner table can be really dangerous.
If Friend tells you he/ she has been off sugar for a month or is training for a half-marathon, don’t interpret it as an attack on you and your own lifestyle. Congratulate him or her, because nothing feels better than when your friends are happy for you, and consider taking a step in a similar direction. People who eat healthy and exercise are not out to get you. First of all, they’re doing it for themselves, sometimes for their loved ones and sometimes for their blog. If exercising and healthy eating gives Friend a purpose in life that he/she didn't have before, that's OK! Everyone should have a passion. Secondly, get inspired. It might feel good to have a friend who encourages you to go on runs together at 7 a.m. every Saturday. While it might also feel good to have a friend who wants to eat tubs of Ben & Jerry’s while binge-watching "Grey’s Anatomy," that kind of behavior can quickly turn into a regular occasion and take a toll on your mental and physical well-being. It's easy to joke about being "fat" together with your best friend, but deciding to live a healthy lifestyle doesn't exactly work like a light switch.
