Ever since I can remember, I’ve always felt as though people are competing for attention. Whether it be their accomplishments, their friends, or random pieces of gossip, it seems as though there’s this tension while each person tries to one-up someone else. It’s not always clear, but it’s there. One thing in particular that’s caught my attention is how people of all ages appear to enjoy comparing their problems--how difficult it is for them, what it’s cost them, etc. It’s this ongoing battle of who can have it worse.

Honestly, I’m probably guilty of this myself, which I suppose makes me a hypocrite, but I cannot stand how people rattle off their issues with such wrong intentions. Perhaps it’s due to the human desire for attention, but does that make it okay? The tough stuff people deal with every day shouldn’t be diminished to a talking point for the purpose of gaining other people’s sympathy.

Watching these encounters play out is another story. It’s made me think about what problems are actually problems. I’ve come to the conclusion that every person’s problems are their own worst nightmare. It’s different for everyone, and the immensity of each circumstance should not be something to compare. While I’m sure at one point or another you’ve thought to yourself, “That’s (insert name here)’s worst issue? How insignificant.”--or at least a version of that--it doesn’t mean their problems deserve an eye roll or a shrug of the shoulders. Each one of us has been through something that’s changed us in one way or another, and that thing tends to change drastically from person to person. What one of us may find petty or meaningless is what eats away at someone else.

As someone who’s considered slightly insensitive and overly straightforward at times, I’m sure I’ve made people feel as though their problems aren’t worth talking about, and if you happen to be one of those people, I apologize for that. I encourage you to speak up and talk to your friends about whatever’s bugging you, because I’ve found that talking about what’s on your mind is one of the best forms of therapy. Discussing your problems isn’t wrong, it’s natural, and healthy. Just be conscious of how, when, and why you’re choosing to make them a topic of discussion.

Although I’m sure over the next week or month I’ll catch myself rambling on about something for the wrong reasons, I hope I’ll catch myself. It’s not about who can have the worst drama or the most unfortunate circumstance, it’s about supporting the people you love through whatever’s keeping them up at night. So, when someone decides to open a piece of their heart to you, I hope you’ll catch yourself, too, and remember that each person’s problems aren’t measurable by magnitude.