Like most young adults, I have an Instagram account. Instagram is easily my favorite app. It’s organized, easy to use, and (relatively) drama free. However, it’s evident that people utilize Instagram in different ways. While some use it as a social outlet to update friends and family on life events, others use it as a platform to advertise their personal “brand”. Let me explain.

Businesses often use social media to market their products. I admittedly follow many of my favorite retailers to keep up-to-date on new arrivals and sales. Small business owners and entrepreneurs wisely employ the free service to broaden their reach. This direct interaction with customers is convenient and mutually beneficial.

Then there are users who aren’t selling anything, at least not for profit. They aren’t promoting goods or services. They’re endorsing themselves. Their product is their image which they create in exchange for likes and followers.

Their currency is cool.

It’s a tad hypocritical to insult these fake personalities while not practicing total transparency myself. I’ll admit, I try to keep my posts positive. My online presence reflects my best self. I celebrate milestones yet often stay absent in times of hardship.

Still, my snapshots are accurate portrayals of who I am and what I spend my time doing. Therefore, my feed features more than a few grainy selfies of my husband and I with food. It may not be glamorous, but it’s me. I’m starting to feel like I’m one of the few remaining people to use Instagram in such a casual way.

That’s because this trend of creating a farce isn’t limited to self-proclaimed Insta-celebs with millions of followers. Many regular users have committed to an aesthetic, using their page to reflect a certain look or lifestyle as opposed to representing the actual life they’re living.

The common thread among these kinds of users is an obvious distortion of reality. The apparent effort is put in to capture specific shots, and it begs the question, why?

What is the goal of people who meticulously plan and edit their posts? What gains are to be had by including a laundry list of hashtags just so numerous strangers can see your picture? And my biggest question, why are followers so quick to like these inauthentic posts?

I feel this question is prevalent because there’s a vicious cycle taking place in cyberculture. Viewers follow these seemingly perfect pages, all the while diminishing their own self-esteem.

It seems that oftentimes the more you “like” flawless fakers, the less you like yourself.

So what can you do when you feel like you’re falling short? How can you avoid the nagging pressure to caricature a perfectly groomed Instagram life?

You can unplug. Many users take a mental break from social media to realign with real life. I myself have deleted pages entirely for months, enjoying the freedom from constant temptation to compare myself to others.

If you’re feeling drained or disheartened every time you check your profile, I strongly suggest taking some time off. Even just a day away can provide the clarity you need.

Still, I did miss out on my technology detox. It was harder for people to contact me and I wasn’t up to date on anyone’s lives without making direct contact. I don’t intend to insult social media; I merely mean to make an observation on how we use it.

Unplugging isn’t your only option. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. I’m personally not a fan of this method, but I suspect it’s why so many users have jazzed up their profiles. They saw other people portraying desirable lifestyles and thought, “I want to be like that”. So they morphed.

This longing is completely understandable. Hell, I’ve felt it loads of times. I’ll see an artfully lit professional photo of someone and think to myself, “I wish I had pictures like that”. Or I’ll see a shot of an exotic beach or beautiful landscape and feel a sting of shame as I sit in my pajamas three hours deep in a Netflix binge.

Online envy is real. A small amount is totally normal, but it can quickly get out of hand.

There’s a way to use jealousy to your advantage. It can be a tool to help discover what you truly desire.

If you’re always pining over someone’s destination photographs, spend more time outdoors. If stunning selfies get you geared up, watch makeup tutorials and learn how to rock those looks yourself. If you’re envious of someone’s mass following or countless “likes” on a photo, well, that’s where the danger truly lies.

I’ve been there. I wanted to have a cool page with hefty numbers. So I made my profile public and started putting effort into capturing aw-worthy photographs. That lasted about two weeks.

Why? Because it’s freaking exhausting. First of all, it’s super awkward to constantly take breaks from real life in order to capture a photo. It’s time-consuming to get the right angle and fiddle with lighting. Then there’s the added struggle of deciding what’s worthy of gracing your feed with its newly raised standards.

Also, it gets on everyone’s nerves. And rightfully so. I’d ask my husband to take and retake photos of me when I deemed our location Insta-worthy, and a few snaps in I would realize I sacrificed a truly special moment in order to create something that only looked like a special moment.

So now when I see an aerial shot of someone’s coffee (the most overused of all Insta photos), all I can think about is the hipster responsible awkwardly hovering over the cup of Joe, adjusting the angle and all the while missing out on the deliciousness of the coffee at hand.

To me, this convoluted effort just isn’t worth it.

“If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph”. In other words, people tend to photograph what means the most to them.

So I can’t help but chuckle when I see well-adored narcissists exclusively post pictures of themselves. Their priorities are pretty clear.

You know what means the most to me? My husband, my family, and my friends. It’s evident in my life and on my social media. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy posting a well-edited photo of myself from time to time. After all, I’m not ALWAYS bumming it in my jammies, and it’s nice to document physical proof.

And honestly, your social media is your own. You’re free to post whatever you like. My challenge for you is to consider WHY you’re posting whatever you’re posting.

Is it something you truly care about? Are you sharing a genuinely memorable moment? Or are you seeking validation in the form of likes?

If it’s the latter, I suggest skipping the share button. Inauthentic personas have a tendency of creating inauthentic lives.

No amount of admiration is worth losing your identity.

Instagram is a fun place to share sneak peeks into your bigger, fuller life. Just don’t let it become your life. You’ll miss out on so much more.