"What's your body count?"
Recently while talking to a guy, I was asked this question. I was having a great time up until this point. We were talking about music, hobbies, and what we were going to do this weekend. And then he decided to ask this question.
"Body count" is a term that essentially means how many people you've slept with. And if you didn't already know, it's one of the most immature, irrelevant things you can ask about a person.
This question is completely idiotic for a number of reasons.
First of all, it's a very personal thing. Sex in general is a personal thing. So it's very odd to just ask this question in general, let alone when you're first getting to know somebody. It's personal and it's their past. It's not any of your business.
Second of all, the response to your answer is almost always sexist. Depending on what gender you are, whatever number you give will be reacted to in a certain way by the majority of society. Girls are looked down upon for having a "high" number, while men are praised. And men are made fun of for having a "low" number while it's preferred for girls. It's a double standard.
And third of all. The entire thing is completely relative. Everyone has a different scale of what they think is a "high" number or a "low" number. For some people, they may view 0 as a great thing, and others may view it as the worst. There isn't a set standard of what perfect number you should have, so why should anyone care?
So why does it matter? Here's the answer: It doesn't.
No matter what my answer to this question would have been, would it have made me more or less worthy? Would it have made me more or less of a "slut?" Would this person look at my past and based off of such a small portion of it, determine whether or not I'm someone they want to be in a relationship with?
A big part of this that truly makes me angry, is that body count doesn't exactly mean a person is having more or less sex. Again, it's all very relative.
Think of it this way. There's a girl who has a boyfriend. She loses her virginity to him. They have sex all the time. To make it easier, let's just say 100 times. Now there's this other girl. She loses her virginity to a guy. Then she has sex once with 3 different guys. So the first girl's body count is 1, but the second's is 4. Going by what society thinks, the second girl would be considered "sluttier" than the first girl, depsite the fact that the first girl has had sex 94 more times.
It just doesn't make sense. The entire idea of "body count" and the concept of being more or less pure solely based on the amount of people you've slept with is incredibly outdated, completely subjective and all around ridiculous.
So just stop caring about your body count. Just. Stop. Caring. No matter what your number is, it doesn't make you more or less of a good person. You are still loved, worthy, and enough. Whether you sleep with "a lot" of people or "not a lot." Just do what makes you happy.
Do what you want to do. Sleep with people you want to. Don't sleep with people you don't want to. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter. All that matters, is that you're safe. Use protection, always get consent first, and have fun.
