I am aware that I am a young person, I’m only 20 years old. Despite being young, I consider myself a fairly educated person. I’m the only one in my family who’s going to college so far, and I get through it completely by myself, with no educational help from anyone. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for close to 3.5 years. My whole family bugs me about getting married and having children. You see, having children is a sore subject. While getting married eventually doesn’t sound horrifying, having kids does.

At this point in my life, I have a plan. Having kids would completely mess it up. When I envision my future - yes, it involves being married, living in a beautiful home, and owning the cutest dogs around. I can envision all of that. I can envision future careers, future cars, and future towns to live in. I’ve been planning my wedding and home on Pinterest since high school. Which is totally normal nowadays. That being said, never once have I started planning for kids.

I can’t emphasize this enough - stop shaming me for not wanting kids. You want to know the real reasons, the personal reasons?

• First, I’m absolutely dreading my first trip to the gynecologist, the idea of some person being all up in that totally terrifies me. I couldn’t imagine having several doctors and family members in a room staring at my lady parts for hours awaiting a tiny human.
• Second, I can’t do needles. I literally run screaming, ask my mom - she has videos. I couldn’t stand to be poked, prodded, and tested all those months before and after giving birth.
• Third, period pains are basically debilitating for me. The cramps associated with that are something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. This is an exaggeration, but let’s be real - I’m a drama queen. Anyway, if I can’t handle pains with menstruation, how would I handle my cervix dilating enough for a child to come out?
• Fourth, call me selfish, but I don’t see how it would be possible to pay for myself and another human. I like to spend my money on me. Plus, I don’t want to gain weight. I love my body the way it is now, which took a very long time. Pregnancy is hard on the body. I’m not saying pregnant mothers aren’t beautiful, because they are. I’m saying I personally won’t be comfortable like that. Which is an opinion thatI am completely entitled to.

I love my mom, I’m so happy she devoted her life to raising her children. I applaud those who become mothers. They’re such selfless, caring, nurturing, and devoted people. I’m sure being a mother is incredibly difficult, but also rewarding. Many of my friends have kids, and while I’m insanely happy for them, I just don’t want that life.

You keep bugging me about it, telling me I’m wrong. You said I’d change my mind. You said that you didn’t want kids when you were my age either. You said I’d feel different when they’re my own. You said, “wait until all of your friends have kids.” This is not me saying that I will absolutely never have kids - it’s me saying I don’t want them. The truth is, it’s just none of your business if I have kids or not. It’s completely up to me and my future husband, whoever that may be. Now, it’s time for you to stop bugging me about it.