Every once in awhile I like to go off on an online rant. I tweet and post on Facebook just really long rants that ultimately do not matter.
This is different.
This is something happening ALL over America and sometimes something that is too close to home. As a young female in college, hearing these stories absolutely disgusts me, but also puts fear in my head and heart. The term "boys will be boys."
Girls have heard this ever since we were small with bows in our hair. A boy comes up to us on the playground and pushes us down. When we told someone with tears in our eyes and the evidence clearly on the scrape on our arm, all we heard was "well boys will be boys." We grew up with boys stealing our things and pulling our hair because "boys will be boys." But when we hit high school and college those four words became a terror. We knew that when we told someone what had happened to us when we were younger, that they were not to be punished because, well, "boys will be boys". This should NOT be the case with rape and sexual assault.
Let me say that one more time. This should NOT be the case with rape and sexual assault.
As a female college student I or someone I know is likely to get raped while in college. So when a woman is assaulted, she may tell someone. Great start. They may go to court. Ok, she feels that someone is finally listening to her. And then....her worst nightmare comes true. The man that attacked her is now set free with NO repercussions, because "boys will be boys". The judge than proves to women and young girls everywhere, no matter what you do and no matter how badly that boy hurts you, no one cares. Because "boys will be boys."
This is something that no man will understand. Girls everywhere are told how to protect themselves. I know not to travel at night alone, I know how to properly hold my keys "just in case" and I know to never leave my drink unattended at a party or bar. All of this because "boys will be boys." This is not something I want to teach my future daughter, but I know I will have to. I know that one day she will be pushed down by a boy on the playground and I know one day she will get her pigtails pulled, but I hope she will never have to deal with something that women everywhere do. I hope she is not terrified to walk alone at night, I hope she will not have to carry her keys a certain way, just in case.
All of a sudden, our lives do not matter anymore. Our lives and trauma is not upheld to the same standard as taking away a young man's life. "He's an athlete," "he has his whole life ahead of him," "it was 20 minutes of action." But no one cares what is going to happen to her. The nightmares, the panic attacks, the straight fear that this could happen again, that he could come after her again. I hope none of these judges that let Brock Turner, Nicholas Fifield, and David Becker go with little to no jail time ever have a daughter and have to explain to her that her life does not matter compared to a young boy's future. Her terrors do not matter to a young man's entire life ahead of him because of "20 minutes of action." Because boys will be boys.
Out of 1,000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free.
That is a horrifying. Something needs to change. And change starts now.
