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Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

You owe it to yourself to say no.

Nour Elshazly

Jun 26, 2018

UCLA

Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

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There is a very fine line between being nice and being a pushover, a very fine line.

Yes, most of us are inclined to be nice and maybe even go out of our way for some people from time to time. But, if you find yourself doing favors all the time or to the point that your own life is being affected by it, you've become a pushover. I've learned this is especially true if you have roommates you're not necessarily friends with, but have to cohabitate with and would rather there not be any sort of tension.You are not obligated to take time out of your life and inconvenience yourself for others, especially when those people wouldn't do the same for you. If you're busy, say you're busy, or just say no. It's ok to say no.

I know how this feeling because I was one of the biggest pushovers out there. I would go out of my way for people I had just met, a lot of the times at the expense of my own convenience. I would do things for others, knowing damn well that if the roles were reversed they wouldn't go out of their way like that for me. I was worried about the confrontation that could arise if I said "no" and it wasn't received well by the other person.

But sometimes you have to take a step back and just say "who cares." Who cares if they're upset or annoyed that you don't want to take them to the store or whatever; you are not responsible for them.

I came to a realization one day that I needed to start putting myself first and say "no" to people. I still struggle with giving people a flat out "no" but I'm working toward it. It's a process. Since I've started to say no, life has been so much better. That's not to say I'm not a nice person and don't do anything for anyone anymore, but I am more conscious. If I'm busy, I'll say "I'm busy," and it doesn't have to be something consuming your every second for you to claim that you're busy. Maybe you're in the middle of reading an article or scrolling through your news feeds. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to do something, don't do it.

It's important for all of us to worry about ourselves first and not feel bad about it. Seriously, you owe it to yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Don't Wait For Push Come To Shove to stop being a pushover

You owe it to yourself to say no.

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

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