Fear is a normal feeling. We all experience it in some form throughout our lives. It could be the knots you got in your stomach on your very first day of kindergarten, being scared to ride a bicycle or maybe it was the anxiousness you felt when you had your very first kiss. Whatever it is, we all know what it’s like to be afraid.

Personally, I think that the thoughts we have are worse than the actual act itself and even with our crazy thoughts, we still end up doing the things that scare us. Your first day of Kindergarten is nerve-wracking, you’re so worried about being away from your parents, and if the kids will be your friends, but you still went didn’t you? Riding a bike can be intimidating. You’re scared to fall off but you probably still tried it right? Think about how scared you were for your first kiss. How much did you worry about it? Even despite your worries didn’t you still have that first kiss? Were any of those events really THAT scary? I doubt it, and even if they were (aka your first kiss was horrible, you broke your arm the first time on the bike and you spilled a juice box on your pants the very first day of Kindergarten so it looked like you peed), does any of that matter now? Nope, it doesn’t. Want to know why? Because you move on. You go through life doing things that you think will make you happy, despite your fears, and sometimes it doesn’t work out the way you want, but you always move on and eventually it doesn’t even matter. It’s this very same concept that makes me so confused as to why so many people are afraid to tell others how they feel. This fear stops them from taking a chance to explore something that could really make their lives better.

I am sure that you have already thought of a situation with someone where you have missed out on something great because you stayed silent; and I'm also sure that you have already thought of a time when you were stuck in a pretty bad situation because you never told someone what they were doing to you was wrong. Now is the time to stop this and start telling people how you feel. No matter what the situation may be, take a risk, because speaking up may make your life way better than it is now. This goes for all relationships, not just one with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but even the ones you have with family members, friends, roommates, co-workers… Anyone.

So, if you’re in a relationship with someone and you love them, but you have been too afraid to tell them because you’re not sure if they’ll feel the same way, I want you to take a deep breath and go tell that person right now. If you have a crush on someone, but you haven’t said anything because you don’t want to get rejected, you need to go tell them. It does not matter if your friends all say that it’ll never work, that they would never be into you, that they’re out of your league. None of that stuff matters because there is always the chance that your friends are wrong. Yes, I realize it is a risk, but when you take that risk something wonderful could come out of it, and wouldn’t that feeling be so much greater than the worry and the fear you had? And if it doesn’t work out the way you had hoped, well, you are no worse off than you were before, but at least now you can stop wasting your time worrying about “what if?” Yea, okay, whatever, it could be embarrassing if the feelings aren’t mutual, but it’s not the end of the world. Just like spilling the juice on your pants in Kindergarten was embarrassing, you survived didn’t you? You’ll just go about living your life and move on. But, honestly I think it’s worth taking the risk to say something that could potentially lead to something amazing.

Maybe you are having a hard time with your family, but you don’t want to say anything to make the situation worse, so you just sit quietly hoping that things will magically get better. Well, hate to break it to you but it doesn’t work that way. You need to communicate with your family, and tell them whatever it is that’s bothering you. No it’s not going to be easy, and no it won’t be instantly perfect, and yes you may fight, it might have to get worse before it gets better, but at least it will get better. If you stay silent and let your family continue to do things that upset you, then how will they ever know that they are hurting you? How will you ever be able to be truly happy if you’re ignoring something that has such a negative effect on your life?

Or maybe you feel that you and your best friend are drifting apart, but you’re scared to say something to her because you don’t want her to think you’re jealous that she has other friends and you definitely don’t want to fight. Well, I am telling you that you need to talk to her about it. Just be honest, tell her you miss her, ask her if you did something wrong. If you don’t speak up then you could lose her forever, and that’s even worse than having a stupid fight.

Maybe your roommate is really pissing you off because she never takes out the garbage, and always leaves her dirty clothes in the living room but you don’t want to make it a big deal because you have to live with her and don’t want her to be angry with you. You need to TELL HER (obviously don’t be rude about it, there are nice ways to get your point across) but, if you don’t say anything she will never know that it bothers you, and she’ll never make an effort to change it.

Whatever the situation may be, you need to start speaking up. It doesn’t matter if you are afraid. If telling someone how you feel could potentially make you happier why wouldn’t you take that risk? Don’t you want your life to improve? Don’t you want to be with your crush, have a better relationship with your family, make up with your best friend and have a clean apartment? You still went to Kindergarten even though you were scared right? And couldn’t you say that you’re happier now because you were able to get an education? I'm sure it wasn’t all rainbows and roses, but you still did it and aren’t you glad that you did? So, why are we using fear as an excuse to avoid telling people how we feel when there is a chance it could make us happy?

In the words of John Mayer "say what you need to say," you don't want to end up regretting what you never said.