Quite frankly, there are a lot of problems in today’s society. Men have quite a bit to be scared about in today’s world too. My intention with this article is not to be offensively sexist and feministic and say that men are the bane of our existence. My point with this is that as a whole, news, numbers and research have shown that girls, especially in college, have to worry about a lot of stupid shit.
Gender Violence
As far as we have come as a society, there are still a lot of misconceptions about gender violence. There is still so much victim blaming in a world where we should be focusing on diminishing the number of perpetrators and properly prosecuting these individuals.
This semester I am taking a social science course with a concentration on gender violence. The class has really helped to reinforce the logistics behind issues that I had already had prepossessed opinions about. It has also encouraged me to be more vocal about these issues and take a slightly more activist role. While I strongly believe in equal gender rights, I don’t necessarily define myself as a feminist. This is in part due to the negative connotation the word tends to carry. There are so many incorrect stigmas associated with those in favor of gender equalitiy. I hate that people assume that every feminist is a penis-hating psycho that thinks girls should rule the world with men as slaves. That is not the case. Some individuals, like myself, just simply want to live in a world where women get equal respect as men in every aspect of life.
In The News
This past week these issues really weighed heavy on me. My heart is with the poor girl who lost her life at Ohio State, simply leaving work. I typically feel relatively safe at my college campus, but I am not really sure why I tend to live in this naïve state. These kind of incidents happen all the time, everywhere.
This week our student body received several notifications about a male perpetrator that broke into multiple girls’ homes on our campus and completely exposed himself. A vast majority of the student body laughed at the emails and made jokes and honestly it made me pretty mad. Yes, when you initially read an email that says a belligerent naked man is on the loose it can be alarming and almost sound humorous looking from the outside. But, I pictured myself in those girls’ shoes. Can you imagine how terrified they were? A strange man comes barreling into your home undressed and you could be completely alone. I would have been in tears with my heart beating out of my chest with fear.
Day-to-Day Struggles
Outside of the extreme situations you hear on the news and get sent to your email, there are so many individuals that have no respect for women whatsoever. I am sick and tired of being scared to even walk from class to class by myself when it gets dark.
I hate receiving texts from family members after big incidents that say “hey watch what you’re drinking, make sure you’re walking in groups, you can always jump out of an Uber if you have to, carry pepper spray, watch out for any suspicious characters, stay on guard and be alert.” I have to do a mental check every night before I go out.
Thankfully, the clothing debate has taken off, and people are starting to get their head out of their rears and recognize that women can dress however they want and are not necessarily sending any consenting or suggestive messages through it. Clothes do not dictate that we are “asking for it.”
In fact, I was walking to Starbucks and back to campus today with one of my best friends and I started telling her about this article, and coincidentally, the entire trip we encountered numerous men that catcalled us, got close to us, stopped us on the sidewalk, called from their cars, etc. I am not going to lie, I looked like a mess today. I was coming from class with my hair up, and I was wearing a t-shirt. My friend was wearing gym clothes. It doesn’t matter what a person is wearing. Rather, it matters about the situation at hand and how the scenario is making the victim feel. During our Starbucks adventure, I didn’t feel like my life was being threatened, but I did tense up when a group of six gentlemen came up and surrounded us and started commenting. PSA: If you find someone attractive, this is not how you notify them. Catcalling and street harassment is not attractive. Grow some kahunas and go introduce yourself in a nice public setting, give the other person space and pay attention to their social cues to know if you are making them uncomfortable or if they are into you. It really is that simple.
What Can the Future Yield?
I hope to God that our society can figure out a way to make perpetrators understand the consequences of their actions and how to prevent these kind of situations. I hope we can put less blame on the victim and more blame on the person that made the conscious decision to cross any kind of lines with the victim. I just want to see a world where I don’t have to text my daughter a checklist every night before she goes out. That is but a mere pipe dream, but why does that have to be such an unrealistic goal? When can we stop making excuses and being afraid to ruin someone’s life who has already done that exact thing to another human being? When can we stop walking around on egg shells trying please everyone when we should be focusing on justice? When does it become socially acceptable to openly speak out about these issues and attempt to make a difference?
When can I stop being afraid to be a girl?
