“Which photo do you think will get more likes?”

I have heard this question asked so many times. And I bet you are guilty of asking it, too. You know how I know this? Because I am also guilty of asking this same exact question.

Social media can be such a wonderful thing. We can connect with friends, family and even possible employers. I like to focus on the positive effects of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter instead of list everything that’s wrong with them. Having a bad day? Watch a puppy video on your newsfeed. Want some funny memes? Scroll through Twitter. Feel like traveling to different countries without leaving your bed? Check out your favorite Instagrammers.

We can share updates about our lives whenever we want. Our Instagram posts are our timelines. It’s all of our happy moments and favorite memories. The photos on my Instagram are the highlights of my life. I never see people post photos that show things like fights, breakups, bad grades, stress or anxiety. Because of this, we scroll through photos of people that look like they’re having the time of their life while wishing we could be that happy all the time.

We feel the pressure to put our photos through multiple filters and only post the ones that we think our followers will like. Why is this? Because we want likes and we want lots of them! We love seeing that red notification pop up—it gives us a hit of dopamine, making it extremely addicting.

Likes heighten our self-esteem. If you post a photo and it gets less likes than all of your other photos, you probably can’t help but wonder: What did I do wrong? What is it about this photo that is unlikeable? Why aren’t people hitting that like button? Sometimes, you’ll even delete a photo because it doesn’t get as many likes as the rest.

We crave validation and we want to be recognized. In order to do this, we need to post incredible photos. There needs to be filters. Blemishes must be erased. Lighting has to be perfect. Captions have to be witty. And don’t forget: primetime. You have to post your photo at the end of the day when everyone is checking their phones so they’ll see your photo and like it. Posting your photo at 3 in the morning? Bad move; good luck getting over 100 likes.

We get so caught up in getting enough likes and posting photos that other people will like. We’re so focused on getting approval from others that we don’t always post what we want to. I am writing this to tell you: you should post what you want. You want to post a photo of your dog? Post it. You want to post a photo of city landscape? Post it. You want to post a photo of all your friends? Post it.

I’m not writing to tell you what to post or how to post it. You want to use multiple filters on your photos? Do it (I use two every time.). You want to edit it and fix the lighting? Do it. You want to wait until the end of the day to post your photos? Go ahead.

I am writing this to tell you: don’t let numbers define you. Stop basing your worth on how many likes you get. Instagram shouldn’t stress you out—it should be exciting. You are collecting all of your favorite memories and keeping them in one place. You are sharing exciting experiences with family and friends. You are connecting with the people you care about and getting glimpses into their lives. Stop comparing yourself to them and remember that Instagram is where we upload our highlights.

You are more than the numbers.