How I Stole My Happiness Back | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

How I Stole My Happiness Back

My journey from a “glass half empty” to a “glass half full” lifestyle.

174
How I Stole My Happiness Back
Morgan Devault

For fifteen years I didn’t know what happiness was. I thought happiness was long blonde hair, perfect white teeth, tan legs, clear skin, a good body, perfect grades and anything else that made me feel better about myself. I based my happiness on looks, only leading me to realize that I would never be completely satisfied. I spent hours on end sitting in front of the mirror, trying to achieve the highest level of “perfection” that I was striving for. No amount of makeup could conceal the way I felt I looked. No fake smile could cover up the way I was feeling. I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t and justified it with wanting to “fit in”. Even though I thought I was okay, I didn’t realize that for the longest time, I was only hurting myself. I felt like an oddball and an outcast for my strong political and religious beliefs and thought something was wrong with me when society wouldn’t accept me for who I was. In my head, I was doing everything right. I had a good group of friends, maintained high grades, went to church every Sunday, did my devotions at night, helped anyone who needed it. I thought I was trying to make myself happy and failing, but I was fulfilling everyone else’s needs and not my own. I was lost and needed to find myself.

I’ve been hurt. I’ve experienced deaths of close relatives one too many times for me to feel like I shouldn’t be consumed with fear and indulged in my own tears. I can pinpoint the very moment when I realized that it was time for a change. It was about 9:45 on a Monday night in February, and I had just gotten in the car to drive home from my youth group, KLIFE. A male small group leader whom I had never developed a personal relationship with was speaking for the last 30 or so minutes of the evening. Going into youth group that night, my heart had become overwhelmed with anxiety about both the future and the past and I couldn’t bring myself to focus on the present, but just when I needed it most, my heart was restored in a way I never thought possible. From that point forward, I started searching for myself. Who am I? I drew a blank every time I asked myself that very question. I obviously wanted to make myself happy, but I still wasn’t sure what happiness was. I started by searching for things that caused me to smile, like sunsets, hammocking and working out with friends. Sure, to this day, these are things I continue to use as a source of comfort, but I finally realized my deepest desires of true peace come from one perfect and almighty source, God.

I began to surround myself with people that encourage me to be a better version of myself daily and direct me towards Christ. For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely happy. Of course, I still have my moments of anxiousness where the problems of this world seem so much bigger than they really are, but I’ve found my only permanent solution. I’m still working on my happiness and I most definitely don’t have it all figured out, but I’m putting the pieces together and learning to love myself as He loves me.

I still don’t know how to define happiness because I now know that it’s completely different from person to person. One thing I know for sure is that happiness is not perfection. Happiness is finding yourself and what makes you happy, because how could someone be happy if they can’t figure out what makes them happy in the first place? Today, I wear makeup because it makes me feel good. I wear my dad’s sweatshirts with leggings on occasion because it makes me happy. I surround myself with the people that make me happy. I write because it makes me happy. I sing because it makes me happy. I stopped worrying about how everyone else sees me and my choices and it opened another new world of possibilities.


I got my life back, and I’ve never felt such peace.
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

14918
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
Students walking on a sunny college campus with trees and buildings.

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

6474
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

4786
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

4213
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments