Have you ever gotten to know someone, and the questions throughout the conversation transition into a more intimate realm. Some questions that might arise: what is your family like? What do you feel most grateful for? What is the greatest accomplishment you’ve had? Or my personal favorite, what is your love-life like? Possibly one of my least favorite questions to answer. To be transparent and to not give a false sense that I have any idea of what I am talking about, I must confess that I have never been in a romantic relationship. This is not a discussion from an experienced person who's been in a romantic relationship, rather this is a discussion surrounding the topic of a single lifestyle and why I support it and those who face the stigma of being perpetually single. There are two main facets behind the stigma of being single: eligibility/high expectations and sympathy.

When one is just starting to get to know a stranger, and they find out you are single, a common response is to judge the single individual. Most assume that you may have high expectations for possible romantic partners in your life. I cannot express how often I have received this idea! And let me explain why it originates from a patriarchal lens and why it is completely subjective.

When you carry society’s label of being single, your personal worth decreases in the eyes of society. From birth to adulthood, we are brainwashed with these ideas that everything comes in pairs and that you have to be connected with others to be happy or content with life. Stereotypes of the crazy cat lady or the lonely man next door plague the media and send the wrong message. Turn on any Television show or read anything in the news and it is guaranteed one can find a negative association with the label of single. There are specific shows in place to fight the idea of being single, for example The Bachelor. It is entertaining for all of the wrong reasons! The media and our culture around us should be fighting these stereotypes and the stigma behind being labeled as single.

Another aspect to consider is that some individuals are single because they are choiceful about who they enter into a relationship with. One might have absolutely ridiculous ideologies or standards for their future partners, but regardless, these are determining factors in the way the world looks at singles.

A final thought I would like to share, and I am sure we have all experienced it in some form related or unrelated to singlehood, is sympathy. Where does this sympathy stem from? The basis of our worth as single individuals being viewed as less worthy than if we were in a partnership. Being single is often associated with extra hardships or burdens, and a lot of loneliness. Depending upon the circumstances, which varies extremely, this may be a plausible scenario or not at all. Regardless of the specific case, singlehood evokes large amounts of sympathy. Whether it is desired or not at all. I personally lean towards the latter. My reasons are as follows: I am an independent individual capable of being on my own as well as in a partnership. The timing between these two phases of relationships should matter to no one but myself and the other individual in the partnership. And I, as well as so many other people, should be able to exchange in conversation without fear of judgement about their singlehood. What do you believe about singlehood?