I bought my first car a few weeks ago. It isn't my dream car, but I'm still in love with it nonetheless. His name is George, and he's a VW Jetta. There's air conditioning and airbags and a Pioneer radio, which is such an upgrade from my previous car. He's also got a manual transmission.

Yes, I drive stick. Please be patient with me.

I'm still learning, so I'm stalling at intersections... and I'm not doing this for my own entertainment. Christ, I even stall leaving my driveway on my way to work. And I'll probably still stall even after I've been driving for a while. So please don't honk your horn, flip me the bird, or any other passive aggressive road rage gestures you can think of. You wouldn't do that to a semi truck, would you? Didn't think so.

I'm sorry if I ricochet off your front bumper when I attempt to get my car moving on my way up a hill. But technically it's your fault for being too close to my back bumper — tailgating, anyone? I'm sorry if you're in a hurry to get to God knows where and my stalling is eating up your precious time. However, there is such a thing as delayed gratification... you might want to look it up. Apparently it makes you more likely to succeed, and who doesn't want to do that?

Back when I was learning how to drive, my dad gave me the most important advice he would ever give me: whatever you do, you must find your zen. Meaning, don't worry about the assholes behind you, swerving into your lane, not using their turn signals. So when I know I'm going to stall out, I try to find my zen. And when I do stall out, I'm not as anxious as I would normally be... we hope. Maybe I shouldn't be the only one finding my zen.

Finding your zen is as simple as breathing with this box.

Inhale when the box gets larger and exhale when it gets smaller. Once you find your zen, then you're allowed to drive behind me. No zen equals no driving for you, my friend. Breathe in, breathe out. It's not any harder than that.

I understand that in today's world we need to be everywhere all the time. I get frustrated with myself when I stall out going up a hill, so I really don't need your ignorance and passive aggressive attitute. It only heightens my anxiety, which makes me more prone to stalling out, angering you even more. I get anxious, so I stall out, making you angry, which heightens my anxiety, and I stall out, making you honk your horn... This whole thing is one big circle! So please just let me be and attempt to drive my damn car. It'll make both of our lives easier.