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Stevenson College: Meet Hank, The Turkey

Watch out, Hank is coming for you!

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Stevenson College: Meet Hank, The Turkey
Hank The Turkey

Hello, world. It's Hank, here. You know, the turkey that lives in Stevenson College. You know who I am, right? This year, I have been working on getting my presence out there a bit more. My mom told me it was good for me. She said it would add a few feathers to my chest. I used to hide a lot from you humans, but now, I am ready to get myself out there and get to know you students. I want to be a free turkey, wild and on the loose. Don't be afraid of me. I don't bite.

Here's a little about me.

I am just your average turkey. I have feathers, and Americans celebrate me once a year. I have no idea where I am originally from. I guess an egg of some sort. But for some unknown reason, I live in Santa Cruz, California, home of the banana slugs and turkey,s I guess.

I am also popular on the social media.

I even have my own Facebook Page at UCSC. Follow me!

Yes, sometimes I fight with my siblings.


When you walk by Stevenson College at UCSC, you might find me sitting on the lawn near Cowell College, clucking at my sisters and brothers. Yes, turkeys fight with their siblings, just like you humans do. My brother, Carl, thinks he was a cow in his previous life. I always see him walking alone around the lawn, peaking at the grass in hopes he will find hay. I am assuming most of you students think he is a loner. Well, you aren't wrong on that one. But just leave him alone and let him graze the grass. And don't even get me started with my little sister, Trish.

I love to people watch.

My hobbies mostly consist of people watching. I love when you all point at me when you are all on your way back from class. That's all fun. I feel like I am at the zoo. You guys take pictures of me as I take my morning stroll on the grass. But just remember, when you are staring at me, I am staring right back.

I also enjoy waking you all up in the morning.

Who needs an alarm clock when you have me? I promise to get you up at 6 A.M. every morning, including weekends. That's right, momma turkey raised me well. Every morning, I like to give a cluck or two. Well, then maybe a few more. I have to make sure I do my duty and get you all up by 6 A.M., especially if you live in upper quad Stevenson, you will hear me a lot more often. So, if you are looking for housing next year and a new alarm clock, make sure you live in Houses 1, 2, 3 or 4.

Now, don't get me started with cars.


I love car tires. If I didn't have to marry a turkey someday and have turkey babies, I would marry a tire. I just love that new tire smell. I love peaking on their soft smooth ridges and calling each of those ridges mine.

But, how dare you cars leave my parking lot.

Every time a car leaves my lot, I feel as if I lost as friend. I have no idea when I will see that car again. My turkey heart feels ripped from my chest.

But, there are plenty of tires in that come to visit me every day.

Although. the good thing about having a parking lot all to myself is that I have new cars that come to my lot all the time. I get to meet all new tires, in different shapes and sizes.

Anyways, if you ever want to come talk or want a bit of advice, come talk to me. I promise to share with you a cluck or two. You know where to find me. If I am not on the lawn, I will be sitting next your car tires, patiently peaking them and hoping they will not leave my lot.

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