I am not the student who is late -- ever. I am the student who is 15 minutes early, pen in hand, ready to go. Since this year I go straight from school to work (and then sometimes back to school), I decided to get a parking permit for the C Lots.

There goes $83 I’ll never get back. Who needs groceries anyway?

If you are a fellow C Lot parker, you might have noticed it is nearly impossible to actually park there. By eight a.m., you’re already seeing things fill up. The rumor around campus is that there was a glitch in the system that overbooked by a lot. (Get it? A LOT for the LOTS? I’ll see myself out.) The lots on the Ridge were overbooked, which means they have to park in the C Lots, which are also overbooked. Basically, no one is ever getting a spot for the rest of their lives.

Now that I feel I am an expert on it, here are my steps on how to get yourself parked and (maybe) on time to class:

1. Give yourself 20 minutes to drive through each lot in search.

This might seem silly, but you are a hawk looking for a meal.

2. Change that to 45 minutes when you realize 20 minutes isn't enough.

Maybe send your professor a message saying "hey, please don't hate me."

3. Wonder why you even paid for a parking permit when you could have walked to school faster than it takes you to get a spot.

4. Get teary-eyed and frustrated when other people keep taking spots.

They probably haven't even been looking for one as long as you have.

5. Make a pros and cons list on if you should even go to class today.

You should, by the way. School is cool, people!

6. Maybe you won’t get a ticket for parking in the faculty parking?

You later decide against this. Those spots are full anyway.

7. Follow someone walking to their car.

Turns out they were just grabbing something and weren’t actually leaving.

8. Try not to get emotional.

It's okay to cry for a second. Show your weaknesses.

9. Follow someone else walking to their car.

10. Wait five minutes for them to leave their spot with your blinker on.

People have to drive around you and give you dirty looks, but you earned this.

11. Speed walk to class so you don’t look silly running with a backpack on.

Even if you’re running late, you don’t want everyone to think of you as the person running with a backpack on. There is just no way for that to look good.

So there you have it folks, the 11 easy steps of C Lot parking. Next time you see a frantic brunette near tears driving by a row of cars for the third time, wave at her. It’s probably me. I’ll probably wave back. Unless you take my spot. Then hair might be getting pulled.

Watch out.