Dating a divorced man at a young age you will miss out on a lot of the first moments. They will be the first moments for yourself but not him. Yes, yes I get different person different meaning, and feeling but come on; you won't ever get to share that moment together as your first time. You don't about how bad the little simple things hurt until they are brought up. The jealously you will feel will eat you up, no lie.
He already moved in with someone, he already had those cute fun moments learning how to live someone. He already got to house hunt with someone; it was her and his ideal house that you may live in or go to. Trust me you will always find something of hers that she left behind or he didn't throw away. Like finding his old wedding ring or a wedding picture. The best yet is finding a picture of them with their first born, all so happy as family for the first time. Finding old sex toys is the biggest turn on, HA LIES you will never want anything like that orIt will hurt you, sometimes a lot, but you will never be with him if you on to that idea in your head.
These little things you can get over but one thing I never will get over is, he already had had kids with her. So I will never get to tell him "I'm pregnant" for the first time(he heard twice). I won't get to have those cute moments of him listening to our baby's heartbeat or feeling the baby kick for the first time. He has been there done that, which sucks but yet it's reassuring. Now you have someone to ask questions or someone to help assure you that you are doing it right. Which also sucks because once again here we are not getting our first moments learning to be parents together or first time changing a diaper together. The got those moments.
People tell you how awesome you are for accepting other children as if they are yours but you will feel strong. You will feel as if your practicing parenting with someone else's kids while walking on eggshells. Lets be blunt here, you aren't the kid(s) parent, you will always have to follow the rules from the mother and the father, so you feel like a built in babysitter who never gets paid but can't quit. Plus its not even a total first for yourself if your husband had young kids when you meet. So here we are again jealous of her again not only because of what she stole him but now from yourself.
The worst part about the kids part is she stole the moment where your husband meets a child that he help create for the first time. They got to have that moment together, not you. She stole that and you can never get that back. He already felt the rush of feelings you feel when you meet your first born for the first time. You will find that you always feel differently then he does because he went through it all already and it's your first time. It's as if he already been down the big scary slide and is tired of repeating it or looses the thrill from it. But for you it's your first time, you get feel all of those feelings.
The one thing that makes you really feel like shit is when the refer back to those cute little moments he experienced with her while she was pregnant. "I can't wait to see you glow when your pregnant" which is like saying ya ok thanks for giving me the image of you thinking your ex was gorgeous, nothing like breaking down your confidence. Here's a good one too, " Don't worry babe I'll shave down there for you when you can't because your belly will be too big to see", oh yes that was said while I was showering with him. Mind you I was naked so you feel vulnerable as it is then that just makes you wanna cover up. DUHH I know he had to seen her naked and cookie, I mean they made two kids together, but to him say that it doesn't make you feel ok. And now it's not even a cute romantic gesture because he did it to the ex that he hates now, which makes you feel almost at the same level sometimes. Now she not only stole a cute moment she stole your mans cute romantic gestures. I'm sure he has more but you feel as if you were the sloppy seconds at times like this because he already did this before.
Don't let me scare you, there are plenty of benefits to dating a once married man too. He knows now what he doesn't and does like. He also knows how to comprise after living with a woman, so that saves you some first big fights. Living together is a big step in relationships, you are taking two totally different living style and combining them and seeing them all the time. Now you can't run home when you tired of seeing them, or when your mad. He learned a few lesson from being married previous and those will benefit you.
Maybe its his age or maybe it's because now he doesn't care to let his guard down. But my favorite thing bout being with and divorced man, is he isn't afraid or show or share his emotions. He still will be a boy trust me but he will cry easier to you, he will open up easier to you. Those moments are the moment she Missed; remember that. You were there for him whenever she was never given a chance to. Whether it's his age, maturity level, kids or if he learned to share. It honestly doesn't matter because the struggles he is going through he shares with you. You will really see the true emotions when/if he has to fight for his kids. That will bring his most deepest, truest feelings out about him. He loves those kid and then to have to share or fight and even pay to see your own kid is just plain unfair. Those feelings she will never see, and it's ashamed too because she won't ever see the love of her kids father has for his kids. She will just a man who pays her child support and takes her kids away for a few days.
