According to a new report in Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, a disturbing new sex trend is increasingly on the rise. "Stealthing," as they call it, happens when men secretly take off their condoms during consensual sex, and sometimes brag about it online after. Yeah. That really did just happen, and I can't believe it either.
Alexandra Brodsky, the lead author in this report at Columbia, believes this to be a direct form of sexual assault, and I don't think she could be any more correct. In the report, Brodsky follows a doctoral student who works for a rape crisis hotline. Rebecca was a victim of stealthing her freshman year, and seeks to help those who have also been affected. She even reported that many callers start with, "I'm not sure this is rape, but..." then go on to say that they took their condom off without them knowing. Disgusting.
The study also examined an online forum where men brag about removing a condom during sex, and offer each other advice on how to secretly remove it without their partners knowledge. Many of the men have suggested that it is their right to "spread one's seed," so ah, yes, of course it is completely normal to remove a condom without letting your sexual partner know, because "spreading your seed" is just as important. Right.
And to the men who do this kind of thing, why? Are you trying to get your partner pregnant? Spread sexually transmitted infections? Neither of those things sound very fun, for either party, so what's the point?
This whole "stealthing" thing happens to be on the rise, and it is extremely important to educate yourself on what's happing in the world around you. Having these awkward conversations when someone you're being sexually intimate with could save you from either getting pregnant or getting chlamydia. You choose.
Laws and regulations should be getting a hold of what's happening here and put an end to it. This 'trend' raises serious legal and ethical concerns, and I am not happy about it, and frankly, neither should you.
Brodsky notes that while the law may be silent when it comes to stealthing, she in fact argues that it violates a number of criminal and civil laws, and explores the legal options for victims of stealthing to seek help.
Many women had no idea that their partners had ejaculated without a condom on; oftentimes their partner would let them know the morning after. This has caused women to seek emergency contraception and appointments for STI tests, clearly a burden their partners were too self-absorbed to recognize.
Ultimately, Brodsky thinks that the solution is creating a new statue explicitly naming nonconsensual condom removal. In other words, creating a legal blanket that can help these victims.
She says, "But I think a new tort that very specifically names nonconsensual condom removal as a harm will help us avoid some of the common obstacles gender violence victims face when they seek justice through the courts."
Yo, Alexandra Brodsky, you gave me goosebumps. You go girl; we're all rooting for you. Go get those bastards.
