So, a few weeks ago, I was driving and I thought to myself, "I should get paid to do this!" Enter Uber. I signed up through the app and submitted my documents; about a week later, I got an email saying I could start driving. I was incredibly nervous about it. You know, the whole letting strangers get into your car at night time with the requirement that you have no passenger with you isn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world. But this last weekend, Halloweekend, is apparently a very busy time for Uber, so I thought there was no harm in taking my first trip.

I turned on the app and after a few seconds, I had my first request. I accepted, and off we went. Took a few trips with very regular people, which was nice, considering the fact that I assumed I would just have a bunch of wasted people crawling in and out of the backseat of my car. But then, everything changed at around 1:45 am.

I got a ride request just like any other, and I headed over to the pickup location. I had already taken three rides at this point, so I knew what I was doing. I was practically a professional. So I picked up the rider, we'll call him Kevin—that wasn't really his name, but I like that name, and I don't think I'm supposed to share info about riders. So Kevin and his female companion get in. He is just dressed like a normal human, but she was dressed as a Who, complete with light-up everything. Oh, and she was DRUNK. Not just had one too many, but like, "You're like my best friend in the whole world...no, don't tell me I'm drunk! I'm fine" drunk.

We start heading toward the drop-off point, and they asked if we could go through the McDonald's drive-thru. I was like, sure why not. I was new, so I was eager to please all the riders in my car because if my rating got too low, I would lose access to the app. So I said yes and we went to McDonald's. Wrong choice.

These guys ordered their food and I was like, "Oh, just one sandwich and some fries. This shouldn't take too long." But then it happened. They ordered a hot apple pie. Which may not seem like a big deal, but we were quoted a wait time of 12 MINUTES. I was hesitant to push back so we waited. And waited. And waited. And I learned so much.

Who girl happened to be someone in my other career field, and that was hilarious to me because she was making a FOOL of herself. She kept yelling about how she expected great service, and she wasn't getting it from this McDonald's. "We've been waiting for like, 7 minutes!" She also kept telling me how much she wanted to go to Steak N' Shake because they have AMAZING cheese sauce. "Did you know that they have cheese sauce?" she slurred every few minutes. If you had been there, I could see how someone might start to believe that she was actually talking about crack, not cheese.

Finally, the food got there and she started demanding a free ice cream coupon because it took so long, even though we were well within the quoted twelve minute wait time. She didn't get the coupon. Bummer.

So we're back on the road. We get to her neighborhood, and she is convinced that we have to wrong address. So we spend a full minute looking at two different condos before she decides that hers is the one we just passed. We pull in the driveway and Kevin tells her not to forget to let the dog out. She starts bawling. Long story short, the dog died a few months ago. Great job, Kevin.

I got both of them home. 5-star rating intact. But at what cost? Never again. But probably some time. Uber is great. People are funny. Cheese sauce and hot apple pies.