As a young woman who is saving herself for marriage, I have received a great deal of respect, as well as some strong oppositions to this "old-fashioned" way of life. Staying pure in today's sex-focused world can be quite the challenge, but let me tell you - the reward is so worth it. Here are some tips & advice to help you keep your commitment...
1. Date for Purpose, Not for Pleasure - My mom raised me with the mindset that you don't just date to have fun, you date to find your future spouse. If you're in a relationship with someone you see no clear future with, how far can it go? Yes dating can be fun, new, and exciting ("He's so cute and his eyes are just so dreamy"), but why would you give your heart to someone who isn't going to keep it? Look for qualities in a guy that you want in a husband. Just because he's a hunk doesn't mean he's future husband material. Good looks fade, but the beauty (or lack of) of his heart & soul will last forever.
2. Be on the Same Page - If your man is not on board with staying pure, it is simply not going to work. He will continue to push the boundaries until you either 1. give in or 2. get so tired of reminding him of your values that you break it off. You have to communicate. Be straightforward with him and express your promise of purity early on. He'll either gain more respect for you and help protect your purity or he'll leave. (If he leaves he reveals his true intentions anyways)
3. Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries - This is a big one. Even if both of you are totally, completely, and 100% committed to waiting until marriage, the heat of the moment can quickly fog your brains if you don't have set boundaries. Create them together and be specific. Stay away from obvious temptations like hanging out on or around your bed or laying down together.
4. Dress How You Want to be Treated - This one is more for the ladies who aren't yet in a relationship, but are actively looking. What you wear says a lot about you and your values. If you have on a crop top with shorts that consist of only about 3 inches of fabric, that sends the message that your body is "open for business." Now you don't have to wear a turtle neck with a long skirt to the floor, but you should dress in a way that aligns with your morals and glorifies God in the process.
5. Pray Through the Temptation - Once you're in a relationship, it's normal & natural to become more affectionate with each other. But like I said earlier, in the heat of the moment things can become a little foggy. If you find yourselves consistently approaching the edge of your boundaries, sit down and pray with each other. Ask God to give you both the strength to fight the temptation and to keep Him at the front & foremost of your relationship.
Lastly, let me remind you that you are fearfully & wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), more precious than rubies (Proverbs 3:15), and altogether beautiful (Song of Solomon 4:7). You are a princess of the King of kings. You may have kissed a few frogs along the way, but your prince is out there looking for you right now. Don't get discouraged - see your promise through. I am so proud of you. (And God is too!)
xo, Lex
