The winter months are some of the hardest months to get through for a lot of people today, including myself. After the excitement of Christmas blows over, people are left in this state of post-Christmas comparison (we tend to analyze how others' holidays went, what they got, their relationship with their family, and compare it to our own, oftentimes resulting in us feeling inadequate), along with fact that the holidays are over, meaning holiday traveling/errands are over, and we are left in a cold, seemingly inhibiting environment that gets dark at 4PM.

Our mobility decreases; we are constrained to primarily indoor activities (most people can't go camping, hiking, vacationing, swimming, exploring in sub-forty degree weather), we tend to become alarmingly more aware of our weekly routine (getting up at the same time, going to school/work/said activity at the same time, getting home at the same time, and repeating it the next day) to the point where we see it as mundane and pointless.

After reading some of my other articles, several individuals have reached out to me saying that they struggle at this part of the year explicitly more than others, they were wondering if I struggled the same way, and what I did to combat that struggle. Well, guess what, I do.

After several years of noticing that my mental health, emotional stability, and personal relationships tend to suffer in the winter months, I looked deeply into my lifestyle patterns to see if I could identify unhealthy patterns.

I noticed that around after Christmas I would start to feel "the void" (an over-dramatic nickname used to humorously discuss a very real feeling). Seriously, it was as if I was scheduled to feel emptier and emptier, more emotionally drained and on edge in direct accordance to winter progressing. I noticed it's prevalence from January-early March. I would get restless, bored, way too aware of the repetition in my schedule, I would begin to question my meaning and my purpose, and I would convince myself that the things that I was doing and the life that I was living was meaningless to the point where I felt absolutely numb.

Because of "the void", I felt severe self-alienation, and it made me feel as though I was not on the same page as anyone else around me. My then boyfriend/now fiancé and I would struggle because of my soured, empty attitude that led me to start fights out of the desperate attempt to feel something. I remember a friend, who I love dearly, came up to visit me during this time. We took a day trip to D.C., and the whole entire time I was so off-putting. I was conscious of the fact that I was being abnormally petty, and it made me want to cry. I was aware of this perfect opportunity to make a great memory, and I was mad/ashamed at myself that I was incapable of feeling happy during it.

My writing even reflected it. There is nothing wrong with deep, pensive, soul-striking writing. There is nothing wrong with sad writing, that is beautiful, too. But when everything you think, write, and see is virtually soaked in sadness, you become extremely bitter.

I struggle with anxiety on a regular basis; I do not struggle with depression. However, I get depressed during winter months. Even individuals who do not struggle or are not diagnosed with depression can experience depression during various seasons of the year, most oftentimes during the winter months.

Research contributes and links this to various factors, but the premise still stands: you are not a freak if you suffer mood/emotional/personality changes.

I am all about spreading awareness to certain issues, and trying to offer help/suggestions/practices that have worked for me to personally feel as though I am in control of my own life/emotional wellbeing. Below, there are blank lifestyle changes that I practice and focus on during the winter months to help myself maintain control, which is so important, because even when we are in the midsts of a struggle, we are still accountable for how we treat others/the words we say to them/the things we do to them.

1. Staying Active

Staying active is a crucial part of feeling as though you are in control of your moods. I practice yoga. I love this because I can do it anywhere, in a studio, or at home, so my ability to practice yoga is not hindered by weather/location. When we incorporate physical activity into our lives, we work our muscles, our bodies, we flood it with oxygen. It forces us to breathe, it forces us to let in and let go. It makes us new, aware, strong and centered, and that is important. In the winter months especially, when we are largely hindered from going out and doing many activities, we tend to let physical activity fade out of our schedules, and we feel it. We become sluggish, crampy, tightened, and we lose confidence.

2. Staying Busy

This is, perhaps, for me, the most crucial concept that I harp on. If I am not busy, I begin to think too much, I begin to feel bored, purposeless, and trapped. I begin to blame it on others, and project my boredom and bad moods onto them, and that is not okay. Staying busy, and mentally stimulated, for me is a crucial step to my mental health all the time, but especially during the winter months. For me, having a work schedule helps, it gives me the excuse to get ready for something and get out of the house, to see a different set of four walls, so to speak. Even aside from work, though, I have to get creative with how to stay busy. Even if it means getting ready, going to a coffee shop, and writing/reading there for a while, it helps. Books, puzzles, painting my nails, cleaning and re-arranging my room, and scheduling at least one afternoon a week where I bake something from scratch (cooking is great because it takes up the time of going to the grocery store to buy the products, and the time it takes to make them), all of these things help me stay busy. My fiancé and I will take the metro to D.C., or try to actively and consistently incorporate outings into our schedule that don't involve going and sitting at a movie or restaurant. Local book readings, museums, all of these things are a godsend.

3. Communication

For me, explaining to individuals my winter dilemmas has proven to help consistently. I have explained to numerous people that I simply struggle more to stay mentally on top in the winter than I do in the summer. This has proven to help me, personally, a lot. For one, I've noticed that it makes the other person feel better because it shows them that you are including them. You are allowing them to see and be a part of your struggle and to help you, rather alienating yourself emotionally for some reason unbeknownst to them. It also allows them to get a more complete understanding of where you are coming from. On top of that, saying your struggles out loud provide a certain sense of freedom and accountability. Because you've said it allowed, you've owned up to it and it isn't a source of shame anymore, especially when you see that you are fully capable of doing good things in the middle of a struggle. It also creates a measure of accountability; once I know that I have talked with someone about something, I want to honor my word and I want to keep pushing this closer relationship in the right direction. Because of this, I tend to find myself striving to stay open, stay unalienated, stay fair, and I catch myself projecting my moods on people a lot quicker. You love these people, you care about these people, let them be a facet for help and support and love, don't make them a platform to project your own self deprecation.

4. Create Things

For me, creating things is a good way for me to feel like I am in control. When I feel out of control, when I feel like my emotional state is being taxed and I feel like I can't handle what is around me, I create, and the process of even putting out the smallest good thing into the world that wasn't there before makes me feel more secure. Whether it be a piece of pottery I painted at a paint-your-own-pottery place, a poem or essay that I write, it is good to feel that you are doing good things for the right reasons.

5. Maintain Consciousness

When you begin to struggle emotionally, it is like a secondary reaction to inadvertently let other areas of your life slide. Work ethic, cleanliness in your own home, eating habits, social activity, all of these things tend to be placed on the back burner as you try to get by. No matter how hard it is, or how much of a task or chore it feels like while doing it, it is crucial to make sure these things stay kept, because allowing them to spiral along with your mood will contribute to a greater sense of disorder and loss of control. Creating stability and order in your surroundings is crucial to maintaining stability and order mentally, and the two will often begin to reflect each other. Even if you have to force yourself: do it. Go get that cup of coffee with a friend. Do your laundry. Study for that exam. Be present and stay conscious; don't allow your life to slip through your fingers. The more excuses you make for yourself because of a mental struggle, the more power you are GIVING that mental struggle over your life.

So, there you have it, folks. Winter is hard. We are human. We have struggles. We are capable of creating and doing good things no matter where we are and what we have to work with. Struggles with mental illness/instabilities are not a choice, but how we choose to deal and live with them is.