I think most people would agree that a strong woman is invaluable. A woman who is not afraid of anything, who never gets her heart broken, who takes chances and doesn't take no for an answer is arresting; she stops you in your tracks and you know when she walks into a room. There is power in not needing anyone's approval, because it allows her to take more risks without fear of criticism or condemnation. There is power in a wild woman who knows her voice and makes sure it is heard.

But I think there is something to be said about quietness. About tenderness and calmness and softness. About strength that is unwavering in its silence and its unassertiveness. About a shy girl with her head in a book too deep to notice the guy who has been staring at her across the Starbucks, and who would wonder why on earth he was looking at her, if she did look up. About a woman who cries over a man she's lost because she wasn't afraid to give him the important, secret parts of herself.

I think it's wrong that a lot of types of feminism today seem like they only respect the loud, strong girls. I think it's wrong that girls with anxiety or who aren't the life of the party or who look at the mirror and don't like what they see no matter who tells them they're actually gorgeous, or just plain nice girls, are not cherished like the ones who scream for their rights. Whispers can be loud, too.

I think you should take care of your softness. I think being a feminist means loving your sweetness. Because radically, being a feminist does not mean you cannot be feminine. You can still wear skirts and curl your hair and your eyelashes while knowing that you are just as deserving as a man or a woman in a leather jacket. You do not have to be a hard ass. You do not have to be a b***h or a boss to be awe-inspiring. True, honest, authentic kindness is so rare, and even if most of the time you feel like your simplicity and just plain niceness forces you into the background, that purity should be protected.

Do not let anyone make you think that your kindness makes you anything but insurmountable, anything but unstoppable. You have opened your chest and your unguarded heart to every kind of hurt, and let yourself be wounded because you truly care about people. You are braver than anyone to continue offering up your emotions. Letting people in over and over does not make you weak or silly or foolish, it makes you brave. There is such an incredible strength in being wounded and opening yourself back up again. Opening back up again is the only way the light can get in.

Don't get cold. Don't let scars make you passionless or indifferent. Instead, stay soft.