Throughout my life, I've been told that you can never fully love someone else until you love yourself. I believe this is incredibly true. I've learned the hard way how difficult it can be to accept someone else in your life if you don't accept yourself.
However, this is far easier said than done, especially around Valentine's Day. While many couples on your Facebook timeline or Twitter feed are showing off their love via lovey-dovey photos and lengthy poems, it's easy to fall into the trap of loneliness. It's hard to tear your eyes away from that picture of your
So with that in mind,
1. Practice acceptance.
It might sound cheesy, but there is beauty in your imperfections. You have beautiful qualities, both physical and emotional, that make you perfectly unique! You don't need to look or talk or act like anyone else. We all offer the world something different, which is what makes it so beautiful.
Our inner dialogue can be negative at times, so for each negative thought you have about yourself, turn it into a positive one. For instance, "I'll never get a boy/girlfriend," can become, "I'm gonna download [insert dating app here] and try meeting some new people."
2. Leave yourself a nice note.
On the night before Valentine's Day, write yourself a little post-it note. It can be a positive saying, some goals for the day, anything that will lift your spirits. Stick it on a mirror, a wall, or any place it can be seen when you wake up.
3. Choose your squad wisely.
The people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your self-image. If you surround yourself with people who make you feel like you have to change for them, then you might feel worse about yourself. The energy of your inner circle is contagious, which is why it's vital to surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people.
4. Take a break from your tech.
You heard right: turn it off. Between our computers and TVs and phones, our minds are constantly overstimulated. Screens can distract us from reality and ourselves. Try turning off your technology for five minutes at the end of the day and gradually work your way up to ten minutes, fifteen, etc. Use this time to reflect on yourself. What's going on in your body? How about your mind? How are you feeling?
5. Establish your personal boundaries.
Admittedly, I'm still working on this one: I have a lot of trouble realizing that other people's problems are just that––other people's problems. You're not the world's savior. Even Superman, Wonder Woman, and Desire feel exhausted after a day of saving the world. The best thing you can do is to establish your boundaries, offer help when it's welcomed, and learn to walk away. It's okay to say no. Don't let people take advantage of your kindness.
If you're an activist like me, don't spread yourself too thin. Pick a few causes that resonate with you and stick to them.
6. Give yourself some me time.
A lot of people struggle with the idea of taking time for themselves. They dedicate so much of their time to school, work, family, and friends, and the thought of taking some time to themselves is too much for them to consider.
But let me tell you this: there is nothing wrong with giving yourself some "me time." Even just an hour every so often can help rejuvenate and energize you. This will not only help your own well-being but for those around you as well.
7. Lastly, learn to forgive.
I'm also trying to work on this one. As much as I've tried, I've come to the conclusion that neither I nor anyone else is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Instead of dwelling on a social mishap, a bad grade, or a missed day at the gym, learn to forgive yourself and move on.
Be proud that you tried. Think of what your mistakes have taught you in your life. How did they help you grow? Imagine what your life would be like if you were truly perfect in every way. It'd be pretty boring, right? You would stay exactly the same, no growth, no development, nothing. Each experience, both positive and negative, is another stitch in your life's tapestry. They make you, you.
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