Everyone feels some amount of nerves when starting a new position. You don't know everyone yet, you haven't learned the routine yet, and it's all a bit overwhelming. But for someone with multiple anxiety disorders like me, it can be especially overwhelming. There are too many unknowns. Will be I able to keep up with the pace? Will I get lots of angry customers? Did my manager actually teach me what I need to know? Will people try to take advantage of me because I'm new?
I began two new jobs this summer, and I frequently had to reassure myself that I could do it even when my GAD and SAD told me that I couldn't. Here are four things to keep in mind that might help you feel more confident.
1. Other people can’t necessarily tell you’re anxious.
A lot of what may be going on in your mind and body isn't visible to the naked eye. Racing thoughts? I doubt anyone in the office is telepathic. Racing heartbeat? You probably aren't hooked up to a blood pressure monitor on a flat screen, even though it may feel like it. People don't really know what's going on inside you at any given point. Even if another person can pick up on your anxiety, they will probably assume it's just because you're new, not because you're a completely pathetic and incompetent person.
2. You are allowed to say “no.”
Stand up for yourself. Even if you really want a particular job or are just desperate for some cash, you still deserve to be treated well. You are allowed to say you are not willing to work certain hours or that you are not willing to travel, for example. If a place doesn't provide you proper training, continues to make you uncomfortable, etc. put in your two weeks notice, even if you just started. My anxiety makes me avoid confrontation to feel "safe," but letting things slide isn't always the best thing to do. Ask about things you think may not be done right or consistently — it doesn't make you rude, and you aren't even necessarily calling another employee out; you're just trying out to figure out the procedure. You're learning.
3. Constructive criticism doesn’t mean you’re doing a “bad job.”
Again, you're learning. It is completely normal to receive feedback from your superiors and co-workers about how to complete your tasks better. (And they might not even be correct when doing so, but that's a whole other story.) It doesn't mean that you're stupid or that they think you're stupid. It is okay to not know how to do everything, and everything is not just "common sense," especially if you have limited experience. Whether you've received more comprehensive training or were just thrown into it, you can't expect to be prepared for every scenario right off the bat.
4. You care a lot about your job.
You care more than most about your job, which will probably make you better at it. To a certain extent, anxiety is advantageous in the workplace. Allow me to explain. You may worry about performing well at your job, which indicates you actually care about doing a good job. Being detail-oriented and conscientious about what time you show up to work will make you look like a reliable employee. This doesn't mean your work-related anxiety is "good" — it can be very debilitating, hurtful, and necessary to treat — but it does mean you're not the slacking, "bad" employee you fear you are or may become.
To all my anxious brothers and sisters, you're doing fine. It will get easier, I promise. Now, when do you get your paycheck?