Mental health is not an issue for someone to deal with alone. Mental health is not an issue that separates the “us” from the “them”. Mental health is not an issue of someone who is weak or just can’t handle it. Mental health is an issue that everyone, regardless of age, gender, race, socio-economic background and/or sexual orientation needs to not only be aware of but understand to the best of their ability what it entails.
May is coming to a close and for those of you who do not know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Just like many other causes, the month that it is recognized in should not be the only month that it is talked about. Mental illnesses does not hinder people just in May (I am sure many of you are saying – Duh). However, my point is year round people need to taking care of the mental health and be on the lookout for when other people may be struggling.
Mental health ranges from variety illnesses including but not limited to anxiety and panic disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, depression, and addiction. They also range in how severely they impact someone’s life. However big or small, a mental health issue may seem to YOU, to the person experiencing them, it may be the most overwhelming and scary thing on the planet.
Many celebrities and other bloggers have addressed these issues because the stigma around mental health is becoming a little bit better. One celebrity that has caught my attention and the attention of the public via a Twitter rant about depression is Riverdale star, Lili Reinhart. Lili and I are the same age -20- and surprising amount of similarities in our mental health journey. This inspired me to write this piece, and although I do not want to fully flesh out details about anyone’s experiences including my own, I wanted to put out a few very important messages.
TO SOMEONE STRUGGLING RIGHT NOW: You are probably reading a lot of tweets and Tumbler comments saying things like “you are not alone” and “I believe in you” and “things will get better.” If those are not inspiring you or making you feel better, I totally understand. I, along with others I know, read comments like that and although the authors have good intentions, it does not help. Here are some suggestions that I have found help:
- Take a minute and breath. I am not saying take 10 deep breaths and start practicing meditation. No, just take a minute and think about your situation. Think about if truly is as big and as terrible as you are perceiving it to be. Most likely it is not. However if you feel like it is a weight crushing you and you do not know what to do; try thinking about how whatever is happening is going to be remembered 5 days from now, 5 weeks from now, 5 months from now, and 5 years from now. This won’t help every time but it will help make the small let downs seem a little less like the end of the world.
- Remember that over 20% of millennials are struggling with mental health. Chances are the person you are worried is going to blame you or get angry with you, has had an experience relatable to yours including adults. One out of every five people you pass at the mall or at school is struggling so even if the phrase “you are not alone” doesn’t bring you comfort in the moment, understand that it is normal. What your feeling is normal, you are NOT some freak of nature who doesn’t know how to function in society. You matter and how you are feeling matters.
- Just as Lili Reinhart said in one of her tweets, remember that you deserve to put your mental health above other things. You deserve to be happy and you should take whatever steps you need to take to be happy and to be content. It is ok to say no to others because the situation will hurt your mental health or potentially drain your emotional energy.
TO SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE STRUGGLING: Your role in their life could be crucial or life changing for them.
- Try not to judge them and try to understand that they cannot help or change how they are reacting. They may seem completely normal and laughing one hour and the next be completely unengaged. Continually asking them what is wrong, is not helpful. Just be supportive.
- Know that mental illnesses are different for everyone and can change over time. In the same vein, the way you can be supportive will not be the same because everyone is different (duh x2). I think that Amanda Hudson said it really well in her article on May 8th “Sometimes hugging them will help and other times being completely removed from the same room is what they need.” Please respect what this person wants; HOWEVER if you find that what they want is ultimately hurting them (this is a very difficult to address).
- Use actions to back up your sentiments of support. People talk all the time and in our current society, you can talk to people all over the world any time of day, words can only do so much. Try to every day prove to them that you love them and that you care about their mental illness.
Mental Health Awareness Month is a month to start the [should be] never-ending conversation about mental health. Take some time if you have it to educate yourself about mental health. Take some time to practice empathy, compassion, and being a good listener (aka do not listen to respond, just listen). If you are struggling or would like to know more, please see a licensed mental health professional.
Mental health is not a curable disease or anything anyone should be ashamed of. Mental health is not something that should separate people, but rather something that should help bring people together to show support for one another. Always remember that you do not know the battle that someone else is fighting. You may not see it but everyone is fighting their own battle, whether it be mental health related or not.
