I first started writing in first grade, or whenever writing
workshop became a thing that you had to do in school. And I loved it. I
loved writing about my day, or about my dog, or about the new Aaron
Carted CD I got for my birthday. I loved it all. Writing workshop was my
favorite part of the day at school.
And then I started writing in journals in 3rd grade. Not like a "Dear
Diary" type of journal writing, though, like most of the kids my age
did. I was writing what I guess I called "novels", but I would never
call them that today (because, looking back, the quality sucks so bad). I
wrote chapters on chapters of love stories, and stories of girls who I
wished I could be. I would write, pencil to paper, for hours on end. I
would write for as long as I could, and I would fill journal after
journal.
I never decided one day that I wanted to write. I just, over time,
started writing so much that it was part of my identity. I wrote for
fun, instead of watching tv or playing outside (because let's be real, I
was not into sports). I would read my stories to my friends, and read
them out loud to myself in the comfort of my own room, and I loved every
part of it.
As I became a little bit older, into middle school and high school, I
continued writing, but in a different way. I wrote about my thoughts,
about my opinions, about my feelings on certain topics. I just wrote
because I felt like it was part of me; like it was something I had to
do. Writing was what I did in my free time (and it still is).
Going into college, I didn't know what I was going to major in.
Everything I liked (music, writing, and art) were things that I thought I
couldn't make a career out of. But then I decided to write, because
that's what made me most happy.
Being someone with anxiety, writing is my outlet for all of my out of
control emotions. I never knew that anxiety was the reason that I
started writing, but looking back, I realize that anxiety or not,
writing has always been the thing that has kept me sane. No matter what
emotion I am feeling, if I write about it, I feel better.
Not everyone is a writer. I mean, some people hate writing; some people
think they are the worst writers on the planet. But if you're ever
feeling stressed, or sad, or angry: try writing. It has helped me
through so many times in my life, and it always makes me feel the most
like myself.
